Friday, January 30, 2009

Deciphering Personal Ads: Part One

From The Mariner, some newspaper thing my mom gave me

Women's Ads
40-ish - 49
Adventurer - Slept with all your friends
Athletic - No need for a bra
Average Looking - Medical plan won't cover plastic surgery
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Lifetime prescription for valium
Educated - Had affair with Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure - Medicated
Feminist - Black widow maneater
Free Spirit - Has favorite bar name tattooed on rear

Men's Ads
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25 year old
Athletic - Watches a lot of "World's Strongest Men" on tv
Average Looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated - Will patronize the pants off of you
Free Spirit - Looking to date your sister also
Friendship First - As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack

Two issues resolved

The necklace arrive at my office today - yay!

12 called around noon. He's been working a lot (shocking, he said he would be working a lot but definitely wanted to see me again). Apparently like 6 am to midnight and then starting over again the next day. Like 7 days/week. Talking to him gave me the stupid grin. Oy. He's so cheerful! It's refreshing to talk to someone like that, I must say. Especially when they're cute and stuff. Said maybe next weekend, which is fine with me - I got plans this weekend and am trying to lay low overall.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I called 12 last night

I couldn't help it. I keep remembering that I had such a good time! No pressure, you know? I wasn't worried about where things could go (nowhere) or what might happen down the line (not much). It was the most stress-free date I've had in years (and you know I've had a lot of dates!). Alas, he has not returned my call. I know, you're shocked. Ha. Oh well.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The necklace-hostage situation

I left this awesome necklace at #8's place - it was heavy and instead of putting it in my pocket I put it down somewhere. I've been asking him to mail it to me. He said yesterday via text that his secretary mailed it yesterday. So if it doesn't show up tomorrow, I'm gonna have to get all bitchy on his ass. My coworker thinks I'm a wimp for not getting bitchy sooner!

Monday, January 26, 2009

#9 - nope

I drove all the way down to Key Largo on Friday night. I dunno, I just wasn't feeling it, you know? I'm just not that attracted to him after all. To be sure, I kissed him! His tongue felt like, well it was the shape of a mini carrot you get in a bag at the grocery store. It felt tongue-like, but it was weird, and I was thinking, "No, I don't think this is what I want for the rest of my life."

I did, however, learn that manatees love to drink fresh water right from the hose - they visit him at the dock of his dive shop and take the hose and drink out of it for like 45 minutes. Cute!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Date #2 with 9 Tomorrow

Finally, I'm going to see 9 again. I'm excited!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

There's a 14!

The guy that does all the computer networking and repairs has always had a thing for me. He asked me out for coffee today. I am ambivalent because we work together, but I'll go for coffee. I do like talking to him a lot. We have fun. I think he may have a freaky side, though, so we'll see...

Monday, January 19, 2009

#8 - nixed

I had to kiss 8 - it was our third date and after awhile I gotta man up and find out if there is chemistry, right? There isn't. Kissing him is not exactly what I want. Ever again. Sigh.

I left this necklace that I really like at his place. So today I texted him and asked him to mail it to me! Ballsy. Gave him my work address. He said he'd put in the mail tomorrow. I said I needed it for Wednesday because I had planned a perfect outfit to hit up an acquaintance for major donor contacts for work (a complete lie, although I do plan to do this, I would never have planned my outfit this far in advance!). I feel a little manipulative, but what am I supposed to do? I really like the necklace!!

9 is supposed to be back in town and hopefully I'll hear from him soon. I've changed my settings in eharmony to start sending me matches again. Will also ask an acquaintance to go ahead and set me up with a guy she knows, if he's still available. Before the holidays I was a little busy! And after them...

Now that I don't have new guys in pipeline, it's a little depressing. Gotta get some ducks in a row!! Line 'em up and strike 'em out!

Oh, and I've left such an impression on 12 that he still hasn't called. Mostly I was just curious as to whether he would. He's not what my friends and I would call an ideal candidate. ;)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Should I get rid of the warning?

Should I get rid of the content warning you have to go through before reading the blog? I like to drop dirty words a lot, so...

What do you think? Please respond via a comment.

Thanks!

Third Date with 8

On Wednesday 8 texted me. Asked what I was up to that evening. I said errands. He asked if I wanted to hang out. I said no - (1) I was really tired and (2) don't ask me out for the same night until we're, like, more serious than this! He said he could do it Saturday after watching some "fight" (boxing? extreme fighting? whatever) and could we meet at like 11:30 or midnight. Er, what? I said no. He said he would forgo the fight then, but then, "you'll owe me," he joked. I texted back, "ROFL. I am way more fun than a fight!"

Then last night I called to tell him that I might not be able to go out because I wasn't feeling well (hey, it's only been one thing or another since December 27th, don't know why I'm complaining, right? But now I am FINALLY better, dammit.) He answered the phone like, who is this? I teased him back. He said, "Is that why you called me?" "No, I wanted to let you know that I'm actually a man." "Oh, good, that's actually what I'm looking for." It was funny.

About to leave for the date -we postponed it from 8:30 to 9 just now because he got home late from a bbq. I'm detecting a potential pattern of inconsiderateness. Either that, or he hasn't been trained. He's not divorced, so that is good evidence he hasn't been trained. Marriage trains them. You know what I'm talking about.

9 comes home tomorrow! I've been waiting since he left. Such a dork.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Knauss Berry Farm

My friend wrote about Knauss Berry Farm in Homestead/the Redlands here in her blog, and now I want to go!

Here's another link about them.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My first-date outfit


I know you were wondering. And yes, I wear this even now. I live in South Florida, remember? A sweater on top takes care of it when it's a little cold. And no, you don't get to see my face.

Toiletology 101


I sent my dad the picture above to ask about an issue with my apartment toilet running for a long time. He sent it back with the graphics, and a name.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Junior & Tramp!


My best friend from law school and her fiancee are attorneys for the government somewhere in these United States. He has this on his bedroom door. It's from the Connecticut State Police, I believe.

A new tally

1-7 - done
8 - hopefully I'll get a third date this weekend
9 - will be back Sunday from France
10-11 - done
12 - uh, ahem, I would see him again ;)
13 - done

I've told eharmony to stop giving me new matches for a while. I am so tired!! Not taking enough time for myself.

#13 - no way!

Last night I drove all the way to the Hard Rock in Hollywood. The Seminole Hardrock Hotel & Casino is on a Seminole reservation, so technically you're not in U.S. territory when you're there, which I've always thought is kinda cool. It's a big casino and hotel, with a big area full of restaurants, shops, bars and clubs. But I digress.

I was dumb and agreed to drive all the way up there. Traffic was slow - it took me an hour. Yeck. Anyway, I met #13 and we were having a lot of fun! We had a drink, then lots of delicious sushi. It was going really well. Until his credit card got declined. Over and over again. And then he says, "Is something wrong? You're not laughing anymore."

Er, yeah, something was wrong. He also proceeded to tell me that his father had "confiscated" all of his other credit, debit and ATM cards because he's financially irresponsible. Since he opened the door, I asked if he carried a balance. He said yes, because if he paid it off his dad would be on him to invest. I pointed out that it's not worth 12% a year to stick it to your dad. This seemed like news to him!

Eventually he paid in cash (he couldn't get AmEx to let him pay by phone enough, and shockingly, they had lowered his limit). The cash that he had wanted to gamble with. I didn't care, cuz I was going home! I didn't just leave him at the table. That felt weird. I thought we'd walk out. But then he stopped at a poker table on the way out. I said I was tired. He said, "It's only one hand." I said I was going and left.

What a doofus.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

All American Rejects

I just wanted to say that the new The All-American Rejects album is AWESOME, even though now I see that Tyler kinda has crazy eyes.

Second date with #8

I had a kickass time! We had a late lunch at Lost & Found in Midtown. We laughed our asses off and also discussed our jobs. He's got a great sense of humor, very off-color like mine. So it was fun. He also was impressed with my vocabulary, a comment I also got from #13 when I was on the phone. Anyway, as we were leaving he asked me if I want to go out in the coming week and I said yes. Then he did try to go in for a kiss, but it was subtle (not like #1 back in November) and I sorta avoided it. I don't know him that well (I know, you're thinking that in my last post that was clearly not a problem). But I take #8 seriously as a prospect (the term we also use for potential donors at my job... hmmm... heh heh) and I don't want to jump into anything. I'll lose perspective. Plus, I have another date with #9 (dive shop owner) when he comes back, maybe I'll hear from #12, and who knows? No need to rush.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Date with #12

I had a lot of fun with #12. I met him at a nice Thai restaurant and had yummy red curry with chicken (I love it!). We had a good time. I figured that would be it, but instead he said he'd been looking for something to do (live music) but didn't find anything, and would I like to go to Little Hoolie's, a bar nearby. I was not dying to go to a bar, but I said yes. He's cute, and I didn't have to get up early. We got there and since it's in the Falls neighborhood as opposed to sobe, guys were totally checking my hotness out. ;) And I was with this really cute guy. It was awesome! We played pool and at one point danced to the 80s music. I don't dance. But he persuaded me -he spun me around and I was laughing like a kid. He kept putting his hand on my back and doing other little touches that guys do when they like you. It made me feel really good to have a cute guy like that, whose company I was enjoying, do that!

I've been single for a while. No one puts their arm around me, runs their hand over my back for 5 seconds, hugs me, or touches me. I mean, sure, I might hug a friend when I see them. But I don't really get the gentle touch that humans need, like, ever. It gets lonely. It's kind of depressing. So yes, I went home with him. We watched "Elf," which neither of us had seen. I sat on the sofa and he laid down with his head against me. It was so nice to just touch someone. And watch a pretty funny movie. He has a really sexy laugh. And after the movie we ended up ... doing the deed. Safely, yes, we used protection. Everything was responsible. And despite the fact that this is not the sort of thing I choose or desire to regularly engage in, I had a really good time. He's very sweet, not pushy at all, it was my decision. He said I was sexy, among other things.

I made an informal risk assessment during the movie. Will this guy hurt me, reject me, use me? I thought not. He told me he had gotten out of a 6-year relationship a year ago and it had been really hard. I could tell that he really kind of just wanted the cuddling thing, too, like me. He was genuinely not trying to lure me home to get some meaningless sex. I'm old enough to know what's what in that department.

#12 is 29, and he's clearly not ready for what I want in life. He's not ready to get married and have kids and have a regular job where he can be around for a family (he does serious fancy lighting for corporate events and stuff). He still likes to party sometimes, and stay up really late, and as he was trying to put the right music on in his room, I was looking for the inevitable marijuana pipe that I was sure he had, and I saw it. Pot use (or any drug) at any time, no matter how casual, is one of my definite deal-breakers. So I already knew that although he's interesting and sweet, fun, and rather hot, that it would never work.

Afterwards he expressly asked to cuddle (wow!) and we just talked. It was pretty awesome. He said he definitely wanted to hang out again. Then as I was leaving he kissed me, and stood at his door to watch me go until I actually drove off.

Is he the one? No. Does he offer some things that I really deserve? Yes. Would I like him to call again? Definitely. If he doesn't, will I cry in my milk? No, although I'll be disappointed. Am I cavalier about this? A resounding no. I totally feel a little slutty. But geez, as a good friend says, if no one touches us for a really long time, it's unhealthy. Babies that don't get touched can die! I deserve to have someone hold me and rub my back and just be sweet. Even just once.

When #9 comes back from France, maybe now I'll have my libido in check and it will make it easier for me to just get to know him slowly. Because on that date, sitting there thinking about kissing him was just hugely distracting. And he is major potential serious material.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A tally

I just thought I would do a tally:

1 through 7 - nixed
#11 - nixed
#8 - second date Sunday lunch?
#9 - like him a lot; he'll be back on the 18th
#10 - probably not going to call me despite my nearly irresistible allure ;)
#12 - date tomorrow night

#12- date tomorrow night

So another guy from match.com just called me and I'm going to meet him for a late-ish dinner (8:45 so I can see my friends first as I promised them) at a Thai restaurant. So this week I'll have done Mexican, Japanese and Thai. And saved money on groceries (oooh, I'm bad). This one has this cute way of saying "Right on" instead of "okay" or "cool," like a retro hippie. He may not be mature enough for me, but he seems smart. I just have to look up what he does again since I can't remember!!

#11 - No way!

Last night I went out with #11, who is a filmmaker (for real) here in Miami. He seems like a nice guy but as soon as I saw him in front of the restaurant I knew it was a no-go. He's short and overweight and balding. And he was wearing a tropical print shirt - I mean, it's Miami and people do that, but I was thinking, "This guy looks like a schlub," which of course led immediately to guilt. What a terrible person I am to think stuff like that! But I felt a little funny even going in the restaurant with him - like it was soooo obvious we were on some sort of blind date. I just didn't feel that weirdness when I met #9, or #8 for that matter. I had a nice-ish time, I guess, but the whole time I felt guilty. We had Japanese and he ordered a big shared thing for us - and later I saw the bill: like $75! It wouldn't have added up like that if we had gone for separate meals or just some rolls. Ugh. I offered to split it - I felt bad. As we were saying our goodbyes he was like, "So do you want to get together again?" No! No! But I said okay, and he asked about later this week, which I could honestly say was not good for me, but I said later would be good (egads). He said, "Call me Friday, if you can." I agreed. Then walked to my car feeling rather bad.

Then I texted #9 and we had a pretty awesome conversation for like an hour and half until he had to go so he could finish packing for his departure to France today. Crap, I still really like him. I worry that therefore there must be something terribly wrong with him. People laugh when I say this, but given my track record... But when I think about him, get a text from him, or talk to him on the phone, I get that stupid grin on my face we all get when we like someone *a lot.* So there you have it.

The 22 y/o is pissing me off. He never got back to me after I called him on Saturday so I emailed him to make sure he got the voicemail (connection was bad). He had - apparently he continuously hosts family members in his tiny studio on sobe. Must be like an Italian mafia meeting in there all the time (sorry, he's Italian but so am I!). Probably too much family drama for my taste anyway. And he wants to meet for coffee Wed - common sense dictates that Wed would have to be in the evening. I ain't driving 20-30 minutes to the gables or sobe for coffee at dinnertime!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

More about #9

Last night we texted for a while again. One of the topics was grammar - you know I'm hooked when the guy will talk to me about grammar. Seriously. I am that dorky. I was saying that spectate was not a verb and he said it was, then googled it and determined that it is, in fact, a verb.

I know, try to stay awake here. But I like this one differently. I'm so drawn to him. It's freaking me out.

Okay, gotta get ready for my date with #11 in a little while.

Still haven't heard from #10. :( But I'm not as drawn to him as I am to #9. :)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Funny Miami Fact: Postal Service

A street grid stretches from downtown Miami throughout the county. This grid was adopted by the City of Miami following World War I after the United States Post Office threatened to cease mail deliveries in the city because the original system of named streets, with names often changing every few blocks and multiple streets in the city sharing the same name, was too confusing for the mail carriers.

Although this grid is easy to understand once one is oriented to it, it is not universal in the entire county. Hialeah uses its own grid system which is entirely different in its orientation. Coral Gables and Miami Lakes use named streets almost exclusively, and various smaller municipalities such as Florida City and Homestead use their own grid system along with the Miami-Dade grid system adding to the confusion.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miami-Dade_County,_Florida

Super Awesome Date with #9

I wasn't totally looking forward to my date with #9 - this is usually because they are a bit stale on the phone or not as hot as Brad Pitt. The former is not uncommon for straight men and the latter is a fact of life, so I generally try to override my ambivalence and hope to have a good time.

Man, did I have a good time! This guy is super smart and talented. A self-described computer geek who gave up his big company at 29 because it was so successful he was overwhelmed - and now he owns a dive shop in the Keys (he's 38). Me likes. He's really interesting. He seems like a wonderful person - how did I find one of those? Wow. He's chivalrous and funny (not as funny as me, but hey) and laughs at my jokes (this is important since I make a lot of them). I stayed waaaay too long, but I was just enjoying myself so much! He seems to have some insight and self-awareness. And my god, I wanted to kiss him so bad. I didn't, of course. That's a little too fast for me these days. But it was distracting me. And while we were talking, as it got later, he was looking at my lips - sure sign he wanted to kiss me too. Afterwards we texted; he asked, "So how did I do?" I said, "U better call me when u get back" from the 11-day trip to France he's leaving for on Thursday - a sure sign from someone up on high that I need to take it slow, I think. We texted for a while after that.

But wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Go e-harmony.

Date tomorrow with the filmmaker, #11. When I talked to him on the phone, his voice is super dorky - like sort of high. He definitely doesn't "give good phone," but maybe he'll be great too. Either way, I've had two great dates in the past few days, so I'm definitely meeting quota. ;)

Monday, January 5, 2009

TV junkie?

Another guy I'm communicating with said in his Must Haves/Can't Stands that he can't stand someone who "watches tv all the time." Since I watch tv pretty much every day, does that sound like it's probably more than he could stand? I mean, I watch a lot of tv, I guess. So then I should close the match, I guess? Input, anyone?

Looks like he won't have a problem with my potty mouth, though. ;)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

#10 is hot; My first second date

I met #10 (Marine Corps officer) for breakfast this morning at 10 a.m. I had a great time! We talked about Iraq and Afghanistan and the election and all sorts of stuff. I like him. And he's hot. Did I mention he's hot? For the first 30 minutes it was like he couldn't look me in the eye. I think that's because he was attracted to me - or it's possible I had some makeup-related gook under my eye... hmmm... well, if he calls we'll know why. Heh. Ugh. Anyway, we sat outside after breakfast (they kinda rushed us) and talked until noon. He walked me towards my car, then gave me a quick hug and said he'd call. We'll see what happens. I try not to get my hopes up about this stuff because of the two I liked a lot but didn't call me. :( But they were from match, not eharmony, which seems to provide much better matches. Okay, I really want #10 to call. A lot. A lot!!!

Monday I have a date with #9 (dive shop owner) for Mexican food in Homestead (the mecca of Mexican food in South Florida). Wednesday I have a date with now-christened #11, a film maker, for Japanese food in Dadeland. #11 is from match.com.

Sunday I have a tentative lunch second date with #8 (Chinese-American construction project manager). Thing is, on the phone we were joking around quite a bit and he made some joke about not knowing if I was crazy yet so not elevating me to Saturday night date status. It hurt my feelings a bit. But I'm really oversensitive at times, and basically had the same thought about him...

I definitely feel like I'm on a husband-hunting mission, which is weird. Also, I am in love with WALL-E. :)

Google Gulp

Take a look at this: http://www.google.com/googlegulp/index.html

Anyone got a Gulp Cap to spare? ;)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Busy Saturday

In the (late) morning I called the 22yo and #8. In the afternoon I called the Marine Corps officer, hereby #10, and had a nice chat for like way too long - like 1 1/2 hours. I know, too long, right? But I had fun!! I think he might actually be a little shy or something.

We are meeting tomorrow morning for breakfast. I chose the Gables Diner because I couldn't find anywhere else decent in the Gables that serves food that early. Seriously. Since he's coming from Doral and I'm coming from Kendall, why drag our asses to South Beach? Except I do love me those Ice Box brunch and desserts. Yummmm. Maybe that can be our second date.

Still haven't heard from 22yo & #8. Also have numbers now from two guys on match - my membership is about over though.

Last night I showed my friend and her sister some of these guys on eharmony and they were like, "Oh my god he is not cute!" about all of them. Even the hot Marine. I was disappointed. Of course, my friend thinks this guy who plays Dexter's serial-killer brother is super good-looking. Bleh. Ugh. Gag.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Sylar dumped me on e-harmony

You may recall Sylar, the guy that was totally, outlandishly inappropriate with me on the phone? I logged in the other day and we had been matched. He closed the match saying, "I don't think the chemistry is there." What? What a dumbass.

On the upside, hottie Marine Corps officer gave me his number. He's technically #4 on the phone call list but I might bump him up one or two...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

I was sick, but here's a catch-up

I've been sick. Really sick. And now just boringly, will-it-ever-end-so-I-can-leave-my-apartment sick. I did finally manage to watch "The Dark Knight," which I really liked, as well as "Charlie Wilson's War," which I also liked.
I had to cancel the coffee date for yesterday with the 22-year-old, which was disappointing for him. Ha, for me. Gotta call him when I'm better.
#8 called as he said he would, and I let him know that I would call him when I am better.
The dive shop owner, now to be called #9, invited me a Panthers game (that's ice hockey) on Monday night, but I was still in Baltimore (and ... sick!). Also offered to drop get-well supplies off but of course I didn't take him up on that because it would be weird. Better to die alone and hope they find the body before the stink sets in, right? Oy.
I have the number of another guy to call, which I will get right on as soon as I call the other guys in the queue. I know, I have it rough.
Finally, the cutie Marine officer wrote me back after a looooong break, which is good because he's hot.