Workin' it

Yeah, I'm workin' the online dating scene. I'm talking with like 10 guys between eharmony and chemistry. We gotta get me married off eventually. I turned 30 on Saturday. I don't wish I was married or anything, but I haven't been in a relationship of any sort for 2 years. It can be lonely at times. And I feel myself becoming more and more of a homebody, because I don't want to go to random boozy events on south beach that 150 strangers are attending or do the bar/club thing. So that leaves small gatherings with friends, dinners, and/or movies in the evenings. Which is fine. But it's hard to meet new people that way. So I try to do other things, like my dinner group and my book clubs. It takes a long time to establish enough contact-time with someone to consider asking them to do something.

Oy.

Maybe I'll get a date this week. Or see "Paranormal Activity," because I *really* want to see that. Hee hee.

I'm also re-reading Surrendered Single, since a second read may help out. I am definitely more friendly with strangers than I used to be! And that's got the added bonus that strangers are friendlier back and everyone seems nicer!

Date last Friday

Wow, it's been a while since I posted! Got busy with work and stuff.

So on Friday I went out with #27 (I had to go back and check). First, I would like to say that I think it's sad I'm up to 27. Some people would blame it on South Florida. I tend to think I have a hand in it.

Anyway, #27 is 30 and an engineer. He's from Peru. His English is better than my Spanish, but it ain't perfect by any stretch. If we dated I suspect my Spanish and his English would both improve. And in Miami it's not a big deal. But I do like to play with words a lot, so it's hard to date someone who's a little limited in understanding the subtle nuances of my brilliance. Ha.

I had a good time, it was nice! I tried to practice the Surrendered Single thing to listen more, and it was hard, but I did better than I usually do, I think. At the end, he said, "I really like your personality." Wow!! I said I really enjoyed talking to him. I feel like I've only just brushed the surface with him, so I couldn't really give him a compliment much more than that. Then I practiced good Surrendered Single behavior: He said something to the effect that he would call me and I said, "I'd really like to hear from you," or something like that.

Has he called? No. It's too soon to assume he won't. But seriously. It's enough to make a girl give up hope, sometimes. Not that I was in love. But we got along, he clearly liked me, why hasn't he called?

Geez!

My new profile

1. What are you most passionate about?
	A lot! Helping others, improving our country, doing the right thing. I'm very passionate about my job. And I find humor in many situations, which is very important to me!
2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
	1. 2. 3.
3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
	In recent years, my boss. I've learned a lot from him, including some good jokes.
4. The four things your friends say about you are: Edit
	Articulate Caring Intelligent Funny
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Edit
	Using humor to make friends laugh Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things Understanding local, national, and world events
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
	Absolutely tops for me is an honest guy who treats people well and likes to laugh.
7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
	That I'm smart and/or funny. And obviously, modest!
8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
	I can come across as very outgoing, social and talkative - but that's only one side of me. I can be quiet and pensive sometimes.
9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
	Going to the clubs, dancing until 4 am ... Just kidding. I spend my time reading, hanging out with friends, exercising, watching tv, and a couple of little hobbies.
10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
	a. b. c. d. e.
11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
	"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," which takes place in Sweden. Pretty good mystery-type novel. I enjoyed the Swedishness of it, since I'm part Danish.
12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
	I didn't put an answer here - couldn't come up with anything original
13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
	I'm an attorney but I use my knowledge for good, not evil! I travel to Baltimore and DC at least 5 times a year.

I talk too much about my intelligence

A friend kindly pointed out that I talk about being smart, wanting people to be smart, and that sort of thing a lot. So perhaps, her point was, that I do this with guys. And this could cause them to start telling me they're smarter than me because they feel intimidated. I don't know about that last part, but geez, it sounds like I have issues, right? And I totally do, about my intelligence and capabilities. So I need to work on that in the dating arena and in general.

Hey! It's my profile! Input needed. Obviously.

1. What are you most passionate about?
	A lot! Helping others, improving our country, doing the right thing. And I'm very passionate about my job.
2. What are the THREE things for which you are MOST thankful?
	1. 2. 3.
3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
	In recent years, my boss. I've learned a lot about myself through my interactions with him. But my parents really helped me learn how to write well (I try not to start sentences with "but," for one thing, heh), and I think that was a life-long gift.
4. The four things your friends say about you are: Edit
	Articulate Caring Intelligent Funny
5. What are three of your BEST life-skills? Edit
	Using humor to make friends laugh Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings Understanding local, national, and world events
6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
	A highly intelligent, educated, kind, thoughtful, funny, honest guy who treats people well. Can't limit it to just one!
7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
	That I'm smart and/or funny. And obviously, modest. ;)
8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?
	I can come across as very outgoing, social and talkative - but that's only one side of me. I can be quiet and pensive sometimes.
9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?
	Reading, socializing, exercising, watching tv, and right now, painting canvases to decorate my apartment and making jewelry.
10. What are five things that you "can't live without?"
	a. b. c. d. e.
11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?
	"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," which takes place in Sweden. Pretty good mystery-type novel. I enjoyed the Swedishness of it, since I'm part Danish.
12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.
	It would be unwise to put that all over the internet, now wouldn't it? ;)
13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
	I'm an attorney but don't practice. I travel to Baltimore and DC at least 5 times a year. Please be at least 6 months out of your last meaningful relationship if you want to contact me. :)

Hmmm

Read his answer:

2. What are deal-breakers for you?

Out of shape! I'll never be fat... I'll be 7ft and black before I'll be fat, lol. So, I expect my match to maintain her figure. I am probably never going to be called "slim" or "slender." I need to lose some weight. It's on my to-do list, like at the top, but it's gonna take time (I need to establish a regular exercise program) and I'll probably always struggle with my weight to some extent. This already makes me nervous - like, is he really shallow? He lives like an hour outside of Atlanta. Input?

Wow!

So now I am being invited to hang out with two guys tonight. One is an acquaintance from college I haven't seen in like eight years. He's always eager to get in my pants though, and this time is no exception. The text messages he sends - geez. And I'm like, "It's not going to happen." "Y not?" "Because I don't sleep around" (okay, we all know that's, you know, a slight exaggeration) "Who said it's sleeping around? We know each other."

Men! They're all pushy to date you or do you, then once they get you in bed it all goes downhill. I swear. That's not to say I'm some big man-hater. It's just kind of grim.

The other is C, whom I have rekindled my friendship with. And occasionally more. C wants to take me to dinner as a thank-you for some legal advice I've been giving him. The more I know about him, the more I don't want anything beyond friendship. I thought I'd get attached, but instead I'm learning that he doesn't make good choices when it comes to women, his job, or finances. And that all adds up to someone that I could never date. It's weird because I was practically in love with him this time last year, and it all went down the toilet and I was very hurt. Now that I know him better, he has some wonderful qualities (for example, he's been advising me on my home-decoration by painting canvasses project and he loves the sci-fi stuff I love), but he's not what I deserve. He doesn't have some of the qualities I need to feel secure in a marriage. Like the ability to steadily have a job.

But having two guys want to hang out with me is pretty flattering. At least they both have advanced degrees, and are interesting and articulate!

Some interesting voicemails

The more I listened, the more I thought, "I'm never going to meet anyone."

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny