I felt this deserved a new blog rather than just a comment...

...because apparently I need to provide some insight into the convoluted female mind.

A comment about Gorgeous Guy:
So you're not going to date the guy. Ok, that's fine. But if you're attracted to him, and if he wants to, then why not have sex with him. It has to better than the guy from the backseat of a car in the garage who couldn't keep it up, right?

You assume that if I slept with one guy then I'll sleep with all of them. Going off with some random guy I'll never see again is not the same as sleeping with someone in my social circle that blatantly doesn't want to date me (which kind hurts!). If it's a one-night thing and/or means nothing to the guy and/or me, I don't want to have to see him again - I don't want to get attached to a guy that's not good enough or not into me. Plus I don't really want to sleep with random people all the time (Exhibit A: "tuck me in guy" got nowhere). Sometimes it just happens, but I'm not looking for sex all the time. Really. Mostly I just want to find someone for real. If I wanted to just sleep with whomever, you know that more than one of those 19 dates (thus far) would have ended you-know-where. I know I coulda bagged the alcoholic pilot, for example. Occassionally I'm in the mood to do something stupid. Mostly not. Like when I travel for business I could hang out in the hotel bar like a floozy and pick up men, but I don't (even though there are some cute single guys in my hotel here in DC). Instead I order overpriced room service for dinner and ... write on my blog.

The Day After Halloween

There was a guy I was really interested in, and everyone told me he liked me, too. So I told him I liked him and wanted to date him, and he seemed cool with that. Then during sex he, "I had no idea you felt that way about me."

I kept seeing him sort of, and then a few weeks ago I called him and said I needed space. I know he was shocked, which doesn't make me feel more than a tiny bit better. I disinvited him from my little birthday gathering the following weekend as well.

I'm awesome, and I know this. There is no reason for him not to want to be with me - we have chemistry, we get along well, we're supportive of each other, and we crack each other up. But really he's not good enough for me because he's been mean (he's the one that said I was "brave" for speaking Spanish, highly insulting AND inaccurate), and also this whole thing has been more than a little emotionally manipulative.

Last night at the party he brought a date. It's funny, now that they are dating (it's very early on) I like her a lot more - I don't know if it's because she is happy being with him, because she knows we're friends and wants me to like her, or because she doesn't feel competitive with me for a man like the other times I've hung out with her. But she's sort of adorable! At least in her costume.

But he brought a date, and I would like to punch him in the stomach.

I hate being single, but I also hate being with someone that makes me unhappy, so tonight I am going to hang with one of my closest friends and her cute little kids!