#26 - nixed

26 wasn't as cute as his pictures, but okay. He's very smart and articulate. Check. We spent a lot of time just talking. We also saw "District 9," which was my second time (love that movie). He's into that sort of genre. Check. We ended up talking late into the night, at which point he started telling me about his mother. Apparently she's rather difficult and selfish. It went on and on. I was rapidly losing interest. He just doesn't have the insight to deal with her or accept her limitations. I know that most people probably don't. It was all just so off-putting. I said, "I don't want to talk about this any more." He asked why, and I said, "Because it's depressing." Apparently the idea that spending 30-45 minutes talking about how messed up his mom is and how hard it is to deal with her but he keeps giving her another chance because he knows she can change isn't strange conversation to him on a first date. Finally I said I was going home, and he was like, "Can I steal a kiss?" And I was like, "No." And thinking, good god no, please leave me alone! He was really pressuring me. Looking back, it kinda makes me mad!
I had initially said I wanted to see him again, but after all that I was d-o-n-e. He asked if we could still go out the next night and I said I didn't know, I needed to think about it.
Then the on Saturday he's calling to ask me out, then texting immediately. I texted back that I am no longer available. Then he texts me:
Friends?
(No response from me)
Gee (my name), normally I wouldn't care, but I really think you and I could be friends. Forget about the dating part, it'd be nice to have you around....
And then I'm feeling bad, so I text back, "ok"
Then today he texted that I should really watch last night's True Blood, because we had discussed that we both like it.
I feel so pressured to be his friend! So I'm just going to ignore him for a while, and then if he keeps this up I'll tell him I don't want to be friends.
I just feel like he's pushing me and violating my boundaries all over the place.

Fort Myers Guy

He texted me to ask if we could "catch up on the week." Actually pretty nice guy I'm sure, but the idea of talking to him while picturing Dilbert and the movie "Office Space" and hearing him complain was not compelling. So I wrote, "I'm no longer available. Good luck in your search." Didn't get a response, which is fine.

The Sarasota guy again

He texted me several more times, so finally texted him back per what Surrendered Single says to do. I wrote: "Hi. I am no longer available."
He wrote back, "I hope it's not something I said."
I feel sorry for him.

Date tonight

I have a date tonight with 26, an engineer from Colombia (been in US 7 years). I really enjoyed our conversation - I love talking politics a little, mocking Microsoft, and being able to talk about getting the minutiae of my work done and have him know what that means!

#24 called

24 called on Wednesday, left a nice message. I called him yesterday evening. We'll see...

This guy from eharmony in Sarasota

Had my number.
Texted me at like 12:30 am on Sunday. Strike one. Texted back next day I would talk to him soon.
Texted me at like 11:30 pm on Sunday. Strike two. Texted back next day to say I'd like to talk to him, but much earlier.
Responded, "Understood. But can I still pretend I'm in some kind of trouble in the name of playfullness? (Have a heart, it's a Monday :) I have to run,sneakn txt @ work." Strike three.
Left me voice mail last night while I was at dinner - at least it was at 8:45. Comment? "Maybe this is still too late for you," which I think was perhaps passive aggressive, or he's a retard.
Strike 1,786,092!
Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This guy from eharmony in Ft. Myers

Talked to him on the phone. He sounded like a big dork. Tried to give him a chance. Then he complained about his job a lot and said he wants to move back to New York.
Sigh.
(They only get numbers if I've met/will meet them.)

Update on 24

I was supposed to go out with 24 last Saturday but on Friday he cancelled because of a huge work project. Strike one.
But he seemed really eager to see me as soon as possible. Check
So he tried to get me to agree to see him at 10 pm some night this week. I said it was too late. He put up an almost decent argument about trying new things. I said, "I can see why you're a good attorney. But it's too late." Strike two.
He said that we'd have more chats until we could go out again. That was on Saturday. Haven't heard a thing.
I think I'm better off.
I wonder why I'm attracting such tools. I swear I'm not doing anything that says, "convince me to meet you at 10pm on a Wednesday for a first date that you're now saying doesn't have to be a date," or "convince me that my geopolitical knowledge of Vietnam is wrong even though I was an international relations major and keep up with the news pretty well."

Date with 25 (opthamologist)

He had to push it an hour later, to 8:30, because he had just come back from Spain and had to do a bit of driving. Okay.
He showed up on time. Check.
He was kinda cute. Definitely very short. Tiny little hands. (Don't even say it.)
We sat down. He kept talking about house music and clubs in Barcelona. I was uninterested but tried to be game. Then he kept, like, flirting with the waitress. She was really cute, and pretty smart as servers go. I was annoyed. I finally said, "Maybe you should ask her out." His reply? "I don't want to date a waitress. I want someone educated to be with" (or something like that). I said, "Well, she's going to be a hairstylist at the Four Seasons," to which he said, "Nah."
I know. He didn't pick up on it at all.
Sigh.
But then it got better. Apparently he had visited all the important museums and sites in Barcelona.
He didn't ask me about myself much. Has no idea what I do for a living or anything.
Sigh.
But at the end, he seemed pretty nervous. For some reason when he said he would call, I said, "I'd really like to hear from you," since that's encouraging but not pushy, a la Surrendered Single.

As the days go by, I wonder why I would go out with him again. Perhaps he'd do a better job on the second date? I could always just get up in the middle of it and say, "I'm sorry, I tried to give you a second chance but you're still flirting with the waitress and not asking me anything about myself."

I forgot, he also insisted several times that North Vietnam was an independent country. Not sure if he was fucking with me.

The opthamologist

I'm wondering if I'm supposed to be ready for a date after work on Monday, since he won't be back from Spain to confirm with me until I've already left the house. That's kind of weird! But I guess I'll just look nice either way?

I hate uncertainties - I like to know that plans are plans and will stick, you know? Which is super rigid of me - most people I know, even the big lawyer types down here, are more flexible about plans than I am.

#24

24 is the one I met at my dinner group and wrote me a lovely email. We were supposed to go out last night, but he called and told me that he had to do a tremendous amount of work for an August 31st deadline. I believe it - he gave me some details. He said he was really sorry several times and that he really wants to get together with me.
He called me today and kept trying to get me to agree to meet him at 10 o'clock sometime during the week so he could see me. I told him it was too late for a date, and then he says, it doesn't have to be a date and gave a decent argument for it all - we can meet without it being over food, etc - somewhat persuasive. I told him I can see why he's a good attorney, but stood my ground. I don't know if this means that he's good at getting what he wants and I might have to be careful about standing up for what I want/need/deserve or not. I don't know.
It's very hard for me to stand my ground in dating situations - like when #23 asked me to drive him to his parking garage, and I really didn't want to, but he kept pushing and I relented. I don't want to be manipulated. And if you don't have time to meet me until 10 pm, you can wait until you do! Which may be next Friday? I wasn't clear - I guess he's in a hurry to see me. So that's flattering.
Apparently he's not good at basic stuff like changing the battery in his SunPass, which is both funny and disconcerting. He said it was sexy when I said I'm handy with a power drill. We joked that I could come to his place and install hooks on his doors, which I do whenever I move into a new apartment. It makes me feel better since I don't have the huge career and salary and fancy car, because I'm still useful - I still contribute. Like if we were together and he paid for stuff, I could keep things on equal footing because I could, like, do minor home improvement things that he totally can't. On the other hand, I always find it sort of scary when men can't do even these little things, since my dad is super handy, and that's what I'm accustomed to.

Two dates coming up

The guy from my dinner group called me and emailed me and stuff, I knew he was interested last week. We finally talked Wednesday of last week, and set this Saturday for a date since I was going to be out of town until then. So I am excited! It was so nice to be pursued honestly and not have to worry about anything.

On Monday I have a tentative date with an opthamologist that I met on eharmony. He's supposed to come back from Spain that day, though, so we'll see. But I like that he wanted to go out with me as soon as he got back! He did say, "You're the only one from eharmony I'll be going out with, that's for sure," and when I asked what he meant he sort of avoided giving further explanation. We'll see!

Dinner group date?

On Monday at my dinner group I met this guy who seems really nice. He's an attorney and much older than me, but I could tell he was interested. After dinner he asked me out! I said yes. The next day he emailed me and called me.

His email: "I enjoyed meeting you last night, and would love to see you soon. I loved the JDate horror stories, and your fun personality. And we have several things in common too."

He's like, a grown-up!

I have been unbelievably busy and haven't had time to talk to him, will call tonight. I hope he doesn't think I'm blowing him off.

Some random things

Although 22 didn't call (I didn't expect him to), he seemed like a decent guy so I emailed him through eharmony inviting him to join my dinner group. Tried to make it clear it's platonic. Maybe someone else will fall madly in love with him!

This other guy on eharmony gave me his number and I called last Thursday, but it seemed like I got hung up on as soon as I said, "This is (me) from eharmony," and I was pretty weirded out by it. I texted him too right after, but didn't hear anything. Then on Sunday I messaged him through the site that I had called. I heard back that he had been out of the country and didn't receive the call or the text. Asked me to call again or give him my number, so I sent my number. I guess in this case being a little overly diligent was perhaps the right thing to do?

A little boy fun last night

I went to my dinner group last night, which was perfectly pleasant. It was full of guys but I somehow ended up at the end of a table so I couldn't talk to people and eventually I moved. My friend was like, "There are tons of guys here, why aren't you talking to them?" I explained that I felt fat and that is was taking the zing out of me, so to speak. Sometimes it's just so hard to be a woman.

However, at the beginning of the evening a guy I've had my eye on for over a year but rarely see came in. He shook hands with me and couldn't remember my name, but put his arm around me and laughed about being forgetful, so it was ok. During dessert I went to the table where my buddy was, and he was there and we all talked and laughed for liek 20 minutes. He was paying me enough attention that I thought he might be interested.

Then after dinner we were talking and I said, "You know, we're facebook friends." He said, "So then can I poke you sometime?" I laughed and said we don't do that anymore but he could send me a jello shot or something, since that seems to be what people do. But I felt I had been a little too negative about it (my account isn't perfectly accurate), so, after we got talking to other people I went back towards him and said, "And send me a jello shot, or something..." He said, "A jello shot ... or pudding!" "Pudding! That's yummier!" I said.

So there. The Surrendered Single book said something about being open to stuff, and I wanted to make sure he knew I wanted to hear from him a little more clearly. But the ball is still in his court, so I think I'm doing this right. If nothing else, it's good practice!