MIA Won an Award?

Sweet mother of God, MIA won an award for something! I was so shocked I had to share with ya'll. MIA is not exactly a bastion of intelligence, nor is it attractive or orderly. I guess the TSA has different standards...

#6

#6 left a message on my voice mail Friday night. I could see that he called around 10:15 pm, which isn't cool this early on.

The message started with really loud music in the background and him shouting "Hello? Hello?" and then hanging up. It's just weird. I mean, if my phone accidentally dials a number, I know it did it, you know? So I wouldn't be trying to have a convo with the person. So I'm guessing he was drunk. I don't think he was actually trying to call me, but he told me that last Monday his friends came over and they were drinking and wrestling on the floor and messed up his place, and then I get an inadvertent drunk dial on Friday. Given my concerns about alcohol abuse, I'm seeing red flags!!

Job Listing

Just in time for Thanksgiving!

I found a job listing for an attorney position.

It says "Salary will commiserate with experience."

This weird guy from match

First this guy winked at me, then after I didn't respond he send the following email:

Date received: November 24, 2008
Subject: Declaration #2
I really am very fond of your profile.


Why didn't I respond? He is 43, lives all the way in Boca, has a sexy first picture but a crazy-guy-with-weird-hair second picture, and writes things like this in his profile:


for fun:
I love grazing.. . So turfy around here..One lies down and lo ! every thing appears upside down. Gazing at other grazers, as a sport, isn' t unlike chess, minus the headache... Goya, yoga, old masters and young mistresses.

my education:
The only things I truly know are the ones I didn't study for.

favorite things:
At a petullant gallop to get trough the Boca Raton Museum Of Art ,- jumping over Mizner Park , knocking anachronical valets on the way if possible, in other words: to pass by

last read:
I don't read, I re- read.



(This has given me several fits of hysterical laughter.)

Stuffing Envelopes

Last night I watched five episodes of Ghost Whisperer in a row while I labeled, stamped and stuffed envelopes for the holiday mailer for my job - our annual fundraiser.

**Spoiler alert - don't read down if you haven't watched the most recent episode of Ghost Whisperer AND you care!**


It's cheesy, but I really like that show!! And I love Melinda's husband, so I am relieved that thus far he is still on the show. Jim is the perfect husband. Too perfect, really. No actual human being could be as hot, smart and kind as Jim. But that's okay! It's still good that he's not gone. Although they put him in the body of a really goofy-looking guy, so that's not so good.

#6 is funny!

#6 said in an email that he's actually from Florida, which is unusual. I said that, nonetheless, I had encountered this rare species and even taken photographs of it. ;) His reply:

I'm glad that you've encountered the rare Native Floridian; there are many sub-species including; the majority species with the latin name Flipus Flopus Wearus, and of course the Fake Breasted lark.

Just wanted to share.

Ixnay on #4 and #5

Nope, haven't heard from them. I guess they're doing me a favor by not calling, right? It's weird, though. Seriously! I know I am not at fault here. Dammit. I'm almost certain. Almost.

I am emailing with a new guy. He is highly entertaining - his emails are funny. Says in his free time he likes reading ... blah blah blah ... and lion taming. That sort of thing. I didn't write him back as fast as the others. I'm getting jaded! But he might be cool. Here's to maybe!

On a somewhat lighter note

Last night I went to my dinner group, and it was fun! I brought a friend from my women's book club along, and my buddy from college that moved here recently came too. I sat next to him and she ended up across the table from us; I was a little worried she'd be isolated but then a really cute guy sat next to her, so I figured, hey, I think she'll manage. Heh.

I still haven't heard from #5 (or #4). One of my friends last night, a cute guy, said he thinks guys in Miami are weird and he doesn't understand them. That made me feel better about not getting called, but it made me feel hopeless about dating here!

Argh. It's not like a date with me is forgettable. I mean, come on!

Now I have to write back to another guy that wrote me on a dating site. I've put it off because when they write the first few I have to read their profiles so I can ask them stuff. So I have to give it a little time and attention. And I'm like, so then we go out once and if I like him, he doesn't call?

Hopefully I'll feel less hopeless tomorrow.

Sign in a Church Parking Lot

Sunday Blatherings

I haven't heard from Date #5, and I would really like to. Since I didn't hear from #4, as soon as I got in the car and drove away from #5, I was thinking, "He's not going to call!"

I feel like maybe I talked too much about myself, even though I made a point of asking him about himself too. I feel like maybe I told him too much, although I didn't say anything particularly disturbing. I mentioned my germ phobia, but he said he has the same thing! I mentioned that I obsess about my skin, but he just thought it was silly. Like a lot of people I know. These things just came up; it's not like I focused on telling him weird things about me. And he told me that he has serious anxiety about his job (fancy corporate law litigation stuff - high stress). Enough that at a doctor's appointment he had a fast heart rate or something like that, solely because of anxiety. And he's supposed to lose 5-10 pounds, according to his dad and his doctor. So... big deal, right?

The thing is, I would think that a guy like him would really appreciate a girl like me - it's hard to find my particular combination of awesomeness. ;) But now I get to that thing where, if they don't call me something is wrong with me, which really isn't true because you never know what's going on in a stranger's life. My cute friend said she did the internet dating thing for a while and had some great first dates, maybe some seconds, but it never went anywhere.

And this is where dating is a pain in the ass.

Date 5

It was a great date! How exciting!

This one is an attorney, does litigation but mostly appellate work. Seems like an all-around decent person. Lives in Brickell, as opposed to friggin' Broward County like a lot of my dates. I thought it would be boring, but he can really keep up with my blather and offer his own opinions. He's cute, and a whole 5'11", which is like being 6'4" in regular America. ;) I had a really good time. Really good.

Hopefully he'll call. #4 hasn't, which is disappointing.

Oh, and we went to Tarpon Bend in the Gables, which I now knew how to find because of the retarded problems I had on Date #2.

The Ceremony

There wasn't a ceremony! But I did get a good deal. I told the guy at the store that I had seen it $50 cheaper on their website, and then he knocked it down another $25 off that. Awesome!

I am officially trying to be nicer to myself.

Oh, and I have another date tonight. Unfortunately, I have not heard from #4. I am very disappointed!

Hard Reset: I'm a Big Girl Now

There's an Ingrid Michaelson song that starts "I could write my name at the age of three/and I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me/I'm a big girl now/See my big girl shoes..."

My Samsung Blackjack II (it's in between a Blackberry Pearl and Curve in terms of features) was losing its mind. And I've learned recently that the tech people at AT&T, and probably all other wireless carriers, are totally useless in helping with real problems. They tell you to return the phone or something lame and annoying. So I googled the issues (inappropriate beeping - how relevant to someone like me!; ringtones "corrupted"; etc.) and discovered that I was going to have to do a hard reset. Not just take out the battery and the SIM card, but actually restore factory settings. Oy.

So I installed the synchronizing software on my laptop to download all my contacts from my phone, converted SIM contacts to Outlook contacts, etc. - it was fun to have the phone and laptop synching the whole time!

Then I did the hard reset, set up my email accounts again, changed my settings again, etc.

Then I lay in bed looking at the ceiling and thought, "I'm a big girl now! I fixed a major technical problem all by myself without losing any data!"

Sometimes it's really helpful to be reminded that I am, in fact, pretty damn self-sufficient. And I don't need anyone to cut my meat for me.

No One Has Ever Noticed This Huge Notebook in Our Office

A Huge Bug

So this thing was like 3 inches long. It freaked me out so much I was a little afraid to pass it on the stairs. But once I was past it I wasn't too afraid to lean in as far as I could bear and snap a pic on my phone.

Date 4

Finally, a good first date! This guy grew up in a Latin American country but spent the past 10 years in Toronto, including getting a master's degree. He was fun but polite, and did not accuse me of being defective for still being single at the ancient age of 29!

We talked about serious stuff. And he smelled good. I know, not a good reason. But he's cute and he smelled good even across the table. And he obviously thinks about things deeply and has opinions. Probably quieter than me, but when I'm "on" when first meeting new people, everyone is quieter than me.

We had a nice slice of pizza on Espanola Way in South Beach after being diverted from our original location of Starbucks on Lincoln Road because there was parking due to some convention. He was even impressed with my wonderful directions to get to a different garage (he's new in town and lives in Broward).

Let's see if he calls! And then let's see if he's worthy!

Saturday at the Dinner-Movie Theater

Last night I went to the Cobb CineBistro at the Dolphin Mall with some girls from my book club. It was pretty darn fun! It's one of those places where you have to be 21 to go in, and it's got a nice dinner and drinks menu. Our food was really good.

We saw Body of Lies. It veered away from the overarching theme of "watch out, we're totally fucking up in the Middle East" to some degree, and I don't think it was particularly well done, but overall it was definitely a good flick. I think Leo DiCaprio is getting to be pretty hot as a badass international man of mystery (see Blood Diamond), and Russell Crowe as someone's fat, middle-aged dad was fun to see, as well as Leo's super important Jordanian contact, this very sexy guy (if you go for that sort) who calls Leo "my dear," and doesn't mean it sexually but it comes off that way anyway.

I just have to say this about the Dolphin Mall: it is a paean to American consumerism, with its seven named and themed hallways of stores, numbered entrances so you can figure out where the hell you left your car, shopping cart dispensers at the entrances, valet parking, special parking for tour buses, and a movie theater, Dave & Busters, and fancy bowling alley with good food; all it's missing is a ski resort like that place in Dubai - because yes, it has a Marriott. And half the people there don't speak English because it's in Doral. Just to get to the theater I had to walk from entrance 5 to hallway 3, then up the stairs; but to leave I took the stairs down to hallway 3 and left out of entrance 7 because they closed hallway 6 and I couldn't get to hallway 5. Seriously. One good point: a lot of anchor stores have their own entrances on the parking lots. I think this shows a lot of forethought by the designers. They are some brilliant people, coming up with this Disney-esque world of themed hallways, signs telling you where to go, and bright colors everywhere. It put me in a better mood than I would have been at any other crowded mall!

Attack of the Exes

Well, one ex and that guy I call "C".

A married couple I have been friends with since my early days in Miami are moving to New York so they can raise a family. That's what a lot of people do - Miami's not a great place to raise kids because of the cost of living and the blatant concern for sex appeal and expensive watches and cars. My friend's 7 y/o daughter has this neighbor friend who is, IMHO, a gold-digger in training.

I started dating my ex in March 2006. We moved in together in February 2007. Within a day or two he became extremely mean. I think he already was, but it got really obvious after I was in his space. It was very difficult. There were many times I should have left. Like when he was verbally abusive. Or when he locked me out emotionally. Or when he got really high (marijuana) three days in a row, including on our anniversary and was late for our celebratory dinner. And I hate pot, btw. I moved into my own place and we broke up on Otober 1, 2007.

He called me sometimes after we broke up, sometimes high, and it was generally hard for me because he is fun to talk to but I have to totally cut someone out to move on. The last time we talked was on the Fourth of July, when I told him that after we talk I am always sad for a week. He said that he would leave it up to me to call in the future. He was really surprised, I think. He also said that the relationship issues were totally his fault, but he said it like it was no big deal, not really apologetically. Did I mention that he hijacked our couples therapist, whom I found? I guess she was helping him. Sort of.

So the married couple have been doing some pre-departure gatherings to see their friends before they leave. I was invited to their Halloween party but didn't go. Lo and behold, I see the ex in photos of their party on facebook. He moved to their neighborhood, and they told me they had run into him, so I wasn't shocked. But seeing pics of him still upsets me a lot, unfortunately. It is what it is.

I called him last night to "develop a custody agreement" for the couple's big gathering on Friday and Saturday night of next weekend. He was surprised that I was invited. I was like, "Yeah, I was invited several weeks ago." I mean, they were my friends first! Geez! I said it would be awkward if we were both there, and he agreed. He said it's fine, "but if I find out it's only one night, I'm gonna be mad," sort of jokingly. That hurt - I am not mean like that. Double geez! Overall I could tell that he was a bit angry with me. What? What did I do?

Well, it's the same thing as with C.

I set a boundary (I need a break, don't come to my party; or Talking to you makes me sad for a week, I'll call you if/when I want to) and then they get passive agressive with me. Hence C rubbing the new girl in my face. Hence the ex being unfriendly and testy with me.

Sigh.

I'm marrying myself!

Yes, it's official. I proposed and I accepted.

Okay, so it sounds weird, but here's my reasoning: I am much, much kinder to and more accepting of a man that I am dating seriously than I am to myself. So I want to commit to treating myself as well as I treat them. And in exchange, I get this nice ring for my right hand.

Maybe it's partly an excuse to by myself a $329 ring, but it's also a serious commitment. I am too hard on myself (as so many of us are) and I've got to learn to be loving to myself. They say you should try to become the person you would want to marry, and I want to marry someone who is nice to me! That's not generally who I date seriously. Hence the being single thing.

Obama

Yes, I am absolutely thrilled that he won!

I am concerned, however, about how split our country is. About how divisive our politics are in the U.S.

I hope that Obama can do something to make it better. But this us vs. them mentality between the parties has been around for a long time, and I don't know if it will change. Civilizations have always thrived on that - part of why, IMHO, we have so much war and strife! Humans are all a bunch of drama queens looking for the next big scary problem so that we can avoid looking at ourselves and our faults.

So, here's to Obama not fucking it up too much! :)

Election Protection

Yesterday I volunteered with an organization called Election Protection, www.866ourvote.org, which basically ensures that voters actually get to vote and that their votes are counted. The goal was to avoid voting by provisional ballot if at all possible, as this often ends in the vote being thrown out.

The Election Protection volunteers I worked with were all attorneys, so we had our big books of Florida statutes and stuff.

The main problem we encountered? People were at the wrong precinct, and might wait an hour or two to find out they have to wait another hour or two to vote at the right precinct. Mostly just human error - on the voting populace's part, not the government's. It was fun at first, but as the hours went by I got a little worn out and tired. My partner was tireless, I gotta give her props for that. But I had trouble getting people to actually talk to me. She was better at it. Just a people-skills thing, I guess.

What really bothered me was these long lines people were waiting in. It just seems to me that it was so foreseeable. And the lines were really bad during early voting down here too - why not open more early voting locations? Instead of 17 in Dade, why not 34?

Next time, if the election isn't as "important" to people as this year's, I imagine many will stay home because they want to avoid the lines. This is not good!!

Now I am feeling rather motivated to work to improve voting conditions for 2012. I need a new political thing to work on anyway, since the campaign and election are over (I campaigned for Obama - did canvassing, voter registration, and phone banking).

My second motivation: why can't we get a printout of who we voted for? I get a printout when I go to the ATM!!

And it really is time to use computers - it just ain't that hard, people! It's pretty easy to prevent them from being hacked - just keep them off line, and have three portable data drives storing the information - so even two can be lost/destroyed. Then the drives are transported to the reporting location when the poll closes. Easy enough!

Another Sylar Update

STILL calling and texting. Left me a voice mail, saying he thought we had a good conversation on Wednesday. Clearly my ignoring him wasn't getting through (probably partly because I said I would see him and stayed on the phone with him for like 2 hours [I know, I know, wtf is wrong with me]).

So I sent him this text: Hi Sylar, I've changed my mind. After we hung up land I was able to reflect on the conversation I concluded that we are really not compatible. Best of luck.

His response: You too. No hard feelings. Trust me, I know what kind of guys Miami has to offer and you're going to need all the luck you can get. ;) Best wishes.

Wow, right?

This is definitely the pancake-flipping Daddy Sylar. I guess, like many people who are kinda abusive, if you slap them down a little they play nice for a while.

I'm not saying this to be mean and mock him; I'm saying it because my mom heard on Oprah once, "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time." And Sylar showed me he's abusive.

The thing that really bothers me is that so many of the men I encounter want to tear me down. My ex, the guy before him, the guy before that, my college boyfriend, my boss, the guy that brought some other girl to the Halloween party (we'll call him "C"). Sigh. I don't know if I am attracting that or maybe even antagonizing them. I realized today in the car that I pointed out during a group conversation how my different friends talk - one has an upstate NY thing going on, one sounds like she's from Connecticut, one sounds accentless, and that C sometimes does this Spanglish thing where he reverses adjectives and nouns. I mean, Spanish was his first language and he grew up in Miami, so it's not a crazy thing to happen. He doesn't have the Cuban accent that a lot of people born here have; but maybe pointing that out actually made him feel bad. Duh? Are you thinking duh? So maybe that's why he told me I was brave for speaking Spanish.

Except mature people that I would actually want to spend my time with would have the self-awareness to figure out that this bothered them, and then tell me I was an ass, rather than criticizing me about some bullshit weeks later.

Lesson of the day: I should not forget that I can be a total ass sometimes, and I should really apply that mind-mouth filter more regularly.

Sylar Update

He is still calling and texting me. I guess the fact that I have ignored him since Thursday isn't sinking in yet. If he was nicer, I would just text back that I'm not interested. But I don't want to interact with him at all.

Date 3

Last Thursday I went out with another guy, M. M is very nice, significantly shorter than his profile says (like three inches), but otherwise probably what I expected from talking to him on the phone, which I really enjoyed. He didn't ask me what I like to do in my free time over and over, nor does he binge drink, nor profess a great love for Jesus Christ as his lord and savior.

But it just ain't there, which makes me feel a little bad because then I have to reject him. And dammit, I know rejection can really hurt!

As an aside, it's funny, I have different expectations for a guy that lives in the next county north of Miami-Dade. It's just a different world in Broward County. Rednecks, a lot less Spanish, a lot more sun-damaged skin. And they tend to run more on time than people in Dade (Latin Time).

The Day After Halloween

There was a guy I was really interested in, and everyone told me he liked me, too. So I told him I liked him and wanted to date him, and he seemed cool with that. Then during sex he, "I had no idea you felt that way about me."

I kept seeing him sort of, and then a few weeks ago I called him and said I needed space. I know he was shocked, which doesn't make me feel more than a tiny bit better. I disinvited him from my little birthday gathering the following weekend as well.

I'm awesome, and I know this. There is no reason for him not to want to be with me - we have chemistry, we get along well, we're supportive of each other, and we crack each other up. But really he's not good enough for me because he's been mean (he's the one that said I was "brave" for speaking Spanish, highly insulting AND inaccurate), and also this whole thing has been more than a little emotionally manipulative.

Last night at the party he brought a date. It's funny, now that they are dating (it's very early on) I like her a lot more - I don't know if it's because she is happy being with him, because she knows we're friends and wants me to like her, or because she doesn't feel competitive with me for a man like the other times I've hung out with her. But she's sort of adorable! At least in her costume.

But he brought a date, and I would like to punch him in the stomach.

I hate being single, but I also hate being with someone that makes me unhappy, so tonight I am going to hang with one of my closest friends and her cute little kids!