Two new matches

I was matched with two new guys on eharmony, at least one of which I am super interested in. I really think they need to be at least 3 or 4 years older than me for one thing, because the guys in their late 20s and even early 30s aren't really ready to settle down - like the one I went out with (the really tall one I liked) who likes to move every few years. I like to move to a better place every few years, but apparently I like to keep it within a three mile radius, as opposed to a 3,000 mile radius.

Anyway, we'll see!

Dinner recap

Yes, it's been a week - sorry, I've been sick again. Anyway: the dinner was lots of fun, and none of the big hotties showed up which was just as well given my Level 4 Biohazard status. I did admit to two of my friends that Gorgeous Guy has an effect on me unlike almost any guy - I get stupid when I see him. Yep.

I had fun teasing my friend that he "dumped me on eharmony." He's the one that I was matched with first and I didn't think we were a great match (for one thing he's really into physical fitness and I vacillate between chubby and chubbier). But we sure have a good time teasing each other! He got to give me the line, "Once you go black..." since he's black (well, Panamanian black - no American black guys can dance like that!).

Overall I hosted a nice dinner and everything went pretty well except someone slipped me a ten instead of a twenty at some point and I had to make up for their cost. Will be more careful next time!

The teacher cancels!

The teacher called to say he can't make my group's dinner tonight, so I teased him. At least he called rather than just emailing me. Also, I have a nasty cold so it's just as well, right? That is why I did not email Gorgeous Guy to pester him to come to the dinner like I have pretty much everyone else I know in the group! But without the mens, I think I may actually have a better time!!

Top Ten Relationship Tips

I actually really like these, because they clearly acknowledge certain useful therapy techniques (3, 4 and 6) and generally seem like good ideas.

Now all I need is a relationship to apply them to.

Any takers?

A match closed because of pot!

I rarely, rarely get a match closed with the reason "Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match." I DO get:

Other
I don't feel the chemistry is there
The distance between us is too great
I want to pursue other matches on eharmony
I am pursuing another relationship (so then why are you on eharmony?)

I'm pretty sure the only even slightly inflammatory item on my profile is "If you still ever smoke pot, we won't work out," so my weed-killer is working!

Face problems

So I have these rashes on my face, which I have now been to the dermatologist about twice. It's just as well I'm not dating much right now, right? Like, I had the one rash and it was sloooooooowly getting better. Then yesterday a new one popped up on the entire right side of my face. Sigh. The doctor was all like, "Wear sunscreen and reapply all day long," and I whined. Seriously, I whined at the doctor. Wouldn't you? Cripes! Be a facial gimp, and smear 7 expensive things on your face at several intervals daily, don't worry, it's fine.

I am hosting a dinner for my Monday night dinner group, trying to entice people to come. Luckily I already have one cutie signed up, although whether he is single is another (extremely important) question. Luckily my new treatment seems to be working, so I won't have to show up naked to keep people from noticing the facial rashes.

Matched with another guy from dinner group

He's got an unusual name, even in Miami, so I had a feeling when I saw the listing that it was him. He's totally hot, for real! I'm trying not be negative and assume he'll close the match. He is very smart (Ivy grad) and rather philanthropic, two things that work very well for me since I am both. Did I mention he's hot?

All the rich men are in Sheboygan?

According to what can only be a highly scientific study, there are a lot of rich, single men in:

1. San Francisco Bay area
2. Anchorage, Alaska
3. Washington, D.C./Baltimore
4. Sheboygan, Wisconsin
5. Naples, Florida
6. Minneapolis/Saint Paul
7. Rochester, Minnesota
8. Boston
9. Fort Walton Beach, Florida
10. Dallas

My notes - all the guys in San Fran are gay
The guys in DC are ambiguously gay, and the guys in Baltimore are NOT rich
Aren't all the guys in Minneapolis gay too?

Are you seeing the pattern here too?

When do I close open matches?

I have these open matches from #18 and #19 that I went out with. Basically, after you're matched they just sit there open until someone closes them. I leave them open if I like the guy, and close them after the date if I didn't like him that much.

It's been weeks since I went out with both 18 and 19, yet they haven't called or closed the match. 10 did that too - didn't call but didn't close the match either. Are they all just afraid of hurting my feelings? I find that so odd.

So after a couple of weeks, is it okay to close the match? I mean, how long am I supposed to give them before I just show that I've given up?

Should I try some other sites?

I am in Maryland visiting my family before embarking on business in DC this week. So I showed my mom some of my latest eharmony matches - she was as underwhelmed as I was. Oy. I mean, can you at least spell "dining" instead of "dinning" when you work in a restaurant? Christ! I've noticed people in Miami really want to spell it with an extra "n" - dinning room, fine dinning, etc.

Then my mom suggested I go to The Right Stuff, a dating site for Ivy-type college grads. I didn't go to an Ivy, but I went to Johns Hopkins, which is on their acceptable list. But they only claim to have 4,600 members in the entirety of the US and Canada, and offer free membership to people in some states, including Florida, no doubt to boost membership.

So I googled "dating ivy leage graduates" and was led to Perfect Match. However, the site does not actually claim to match you on that basis. It seems to be claiming to be better at matching than eharmony. It does have 4 million members, or so it claims, which is certainly better than 4,600!

Then I looked at Chemistry, which seems to be claiming that chemistry is how they match you. What? Oh, no, upon closer inspection you just do ... a personality profile, like eharmony and Perfect Match.

All of these for the low, low fee of only your right arm, below the elbow!

Pshah

I amvery busy with work at the moment (including 10 days of business travel between today and the end of March), and it looks like I'm going to move in the middle of April to a bigger apartment, and I'd like to work on another side project that could potentially be a lucrative endeavor - I've got a lot going on, and that doesn't even include the regular commitments to the gym, therapy (don't be shocked about that one!), and various social stuff. But I'd still like to meet a guy who a) is cute and smart and funny b) is single, c) asks me out, and d) actually calls again after the first date. It seems like there is never a convergence of these four factors!

I swear to God I am not defective, but these guys don't call for second dates. The cute ones, I mean. The funny looking ones always call. Geez.

If it takes much longer, I won't have been able to choose to not have kids!

Photo critiques of eharmony matches

There's a dentist, 36 - so I look at the one photo he posted. It's him in a sleeveless red tshirt, big tattoo on his bicep, wearing a visor, spiky hair, holding a baby, at Fort Lauderdale airport. What?

Then there's the gay-looking guy with bleached platinum blond hair, eventually showing a photo of himself at a Madonna concert. All I need is a picture of him watching "Golden Girls."

I dated a guy briefly back when I was in law school - he liked strawberry daiquiris and watching "Golden Girls." And his name was Leslie.

Watchmen

I've got pretty much zero going on in the eharmony realm. That's okay, though, since I'm really busy at work. It just means I have less to blog about here. Therefore, I will talk about "Watchmen," which I just saw with my friend on Monday night. It was good. Sometimes unbelievably cheesy at the very end, but pretty good. Also, Dr. Manhattan's wang is basically an unlisted character.

No calls

No one's calling, not even 19, and he looked at my profile again on Thursday after the date. I changed that setting to anonymous so I can properly stalk my victims - er, potential dates. But most of the guys don't.

Anyway, I swear to god I'm not a freak. Why no calls? Sigh.

Eharmony v. grocery store

My mom sent me an article saying that you're probably as likely to meet "the one" at the grocery store as you are online. This depressed me. But then I thought, I never see anyone single at the grocery store. And if they are, they are younger than me or way older. I think I'd do better if I sat on Lincoln Road and tossed arrows at guys as they passed - at least the age appropriateness would be more in line with my requirements. And you can spot the gay ones, for the most part.

Also, apparently eharmony claims that it is now responsible for 2% of marriages in the U.S. I can believe it; even though my dates are amusing/sad/pathetic/drunk/not hot enough/awkward/whatever, they are people I genuinely get along with. If you pull random guys off the street they would not be nearly as compatible, IMHO.

19 will score a second date too

I had a good time! He's pretty cute, although I am a full foot shorter than him. Would that be weird? I dunno. I don't wear heels much...

Anyway, the conversation was pretty good. At one point he asked me how many eharmony dates I'd been on, and I suddenly felt like I'd been asked how many people I've slept with, so I was like, "Um, well, how many have you been on?" He says, "That many? Wow! I thought twelve was a lot" in the year he'd been on eharmony. So I said 16 since the end of November, which is basically true since the others were not eharmony... I'm a datin' whore! What can I say?

Red flag? He has the wanderlust. He likes to move frequently to new towns. See, I like Miami in large part because I have established friends, social groups, activities, and I know my way around (more or less). Of course, he'd like to move to San Diego, Portland or Raleigh. I'd never do Portland (too grim) but I'd do the other two. I LOVE San Diego. But the idea of relocating for no reason is stupid. I just can't do it. And it reminds me of my ex, who said "I want to wander the world and help people," which I thought was more due to the fact that he didn't know what to do with himself than anything else. 19 builds huge computer programs that are pretty cool - we talked about it in-depth and I'm sure he appreciated that I pretty much understood what he does. They always like that.

Red flag? His dog is really badly behaved. Like, I couldn't tolerate it, the way he describes it. And I doubt he'd appreciate my offer to retrain the dog. Even if I would do a kickass job.

Am I being nitpicky?

8 Things Never to do on a First Date

From here, with my comments and deletions:

Ah, the first date -- you've been primping and plucking, and it's finally show time. After all that work you don't want to send them running for the hills because of something thoughtless you did at the table or in the car. Here are eight key guidelines on what to avoid...

"I Don't Valet" Sure, some people don't like to leave their cars in the hands of a valet. But if you've driven around the block more than three times and you're prepared to go an additional five until you find street parking (even if the spot is blocks away), quit while you're ahead. I don't let a guy pick me up - who does that? Plus we all live so far from each other I'm usually meeting him in the middle.

Nix Your Ex Never go on about any of your exes. Yeah, I've experienced this one a lot! Geez!

Texting... or answering your mobile phone for social purposes are big no-no's on a date. I fuckin' hate the phone calls - stop it! I am too awesome to be treated like that. But then, a guy that does that is really doing me a favor by letting me know immediately that he doesn't know how to treat a girl or isn't that into me.

Don't Be Nosey No blowing your schnoz at the table. The most I've experienced is the guy who gave himself a chiropractic neck adjustment - but he was already nixed within the first few minutes of the date.

Play Nice Being rude to the wait staff is a major turn off. Well, duh.

Pass On The Pricey Stuff Ordering the 3 lb. lobster and filet dinner or the homemade pasta with a mound of freshly shaved white truffles is obnoxious no matter who's paying. Don't go for the gold. Show a little class by sticking with the moderately priced ticket items. The guy who's credit card got rejected was the one who rang up the biggest bill yet!

Booze It ‘Til You Lose It Just one drink too many and you may find yourself saying and doing things that make all of the above look like afternoon charm school. And even if you don't go crazy, you might do some over-sharing that you'll regret in the morning. So, never go overboard on alcohol -- it's a safety issue as well as an etiquette one. Or in the case of 18, you find out I was born in October, you were born in September, but you are convinced that I'm older. Because you are drunk. Time to get in the cockpit, right?

Ditch The Dutch We may sound old-fashioned but when a guy asks a girl out, there's only one way to go on a first date when the bill arrives -- the guy pays. 'Nuff said.

And no, haven't heard from 18

Which annoys me.

Date with 19 tonight

Meet 19. He does computer techie stuff. These were his answers to my questions. I'm meeting him tonight on Lincoln Road. We had a nice convo on Monday night, he seems like a decent guy. Not into planning ahead, and definitely seems like he's 29, you know? Not mature beyond his years or nothin'. We'll see.

Addition to my eharmony profile

I gave it some thought, then added this to the last part of my profile, called "Anything else you want them to know".

If you still ever smoke pot, or drink more than 3 drinks in a sitting more than 4 times per year, we won't work out.

I have been warned!!

Two of my girlfriends from my women's book club, both Cuban, heard about 18, the Nicaraguan. They were both like, "trust me, watch out for the latin lover types!" They both go for them, but still warn against it. "Just be careful not to get caught up in the amor of all of it at the beginning," one advised.
Nonetheless, I want him to call!

My sandwich at Deli Lane

My sandwich at Deli Lane was really good, btw. It was raisin bread (thick) toasted, with warm soft cinnamony sliced apples and cheese on it. So good! Delicious even!

I really need to explore those South Miami restaurants some more.

Comments about 17 on facebook

I put my status on facebook as: If you drink 6 beers on our date, you're probably an alcoholic. Comments ensued, including:

My sister
LOL
I'm sorry to hear that though

A British acquaintance from across the pond
Six beers? That's not an alcoholic, he's just warming up. You Americans and your love/hate relationship with booze. He may have needed Dutch courage or something.

A girl I went to high school with
Perhaps tradition knew what it was doing by keeping young women so ignorant of the world of men. The more I discover about them, the more determined I am to remain single and collect cats. (hugs)

18 will score a second date

18 will score a second date if he calls (who knows if he will - I can't tell!). I had a great time! We sat outside for maybe an hour and a half, had a light meal, great conversation. He's very smart; I was able to be my regular somewhat intellectual smart-ass self without receiving any blank looks or comments like "I've never heard that word before." No indications that he's a screw-up. He's got an MBA. I think he makes good money. Comes from a well-educated, sophisticated family in Nicaragua (father has an economics degree from Tulane). And still has that sexy voice. We laughed a lot. And he's pretty good looking.

I could stand a sexy, confident, wealthy, sophisticated, smart, slightly older latin guy for a bf.

Btw, my friend's seven-year-old says I'm not allowed to say "sexy."