At the Freezing Lake Café...
6 hours ago
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
#20: The Recap
He was right on, time a good sign. In Miami sometimes they're late - bleh. I was actually 5 min later, and he texted me to ask what drink I wanted.
I walk into the restaurant and am not sure where he is, until I see this guy with a blue flame-type tattoo around his lower left arm. I remembered it from his pics. Badass, right? My mom's already in love with this one, hah.
He's cute! And he's got very carefully sculpted facial hair - very closely trimmed, thin sideburns (it looks good) and, well, a soul patch. Sounds awful, but on an artsy guy it's cool. He tells me about his job - he's the art director at an advertising company. I kept picturing episodes of "Mad Men," but he's working on commercials and Mad Men isn't truly there yet. ;)
So, grown-up career: check. Really digs it: check.
He's got a heavy Brazilian accent, so he can be hard to understand, especially in a noisy place like the restaurant we were at. Learned he's a huge soccer fan (big shock, not). And big into motorcycles, based on his photos and that his shirt said "Harley Davidson" on the pocket.
I was indecisive about the menu - I can be extremely indecisive. I know men hate this. But anway, he says, "You remind me of my ex-wife." "Great," I said.
We talked about religion, always a great topic on a first date (oy), but it was a cool conversation. He's got a lot of opinions and some of his views are pretty interesting (as opposed to lame, boring, or nonexistent). But he might be a little out-there. Or just interesting. Out-there might be okay if he's not an alcoholic and can hold a job.
We were talking about the band Queen. He said Freddie Mercury's parents were Indian, and I was certain they were like Afghani or something. He said, "You wanna bet on it?" And for some reason I said, "Yeah!" "Really?" "Yes. What's it for?" "This dinner," he said.
I lost.
He found this amusing. I'll be honest, I was annoyed. Probably childish. He went to the bathroom, and I texted my friend, "I just lost a bet and I think I have to pay for dinner!"
Okay, it was funny. When he came back I told him I texted her and we cracked up.
After much debate, asking the waitress for her opinion about whether he was really going to make me pay, blah blah blah, him enjoying it the whole time and me thinking, Really? You're really gonna make me pay?, we split it. Because he wanted to be a "gentleman." "I wouldn't go that far," I said. I think he was surprised a bit. I was just being honest. I felt like he could actually handle my honesty, which is pretty unusual. Check.
At the end I said, "Do I still remind you of your ex-wife?" "No," he said. "Good."
We left, and he said, "I'm gonna take you over there to get a drink," since I had to pay or because he wanted to act in good faith or hopefully because he just liked my company. Dude, he was wearing (nice) flip flops. Very casual but well-done look as a whole. A perfected look all in all. I have to say that since flip flops are my "shoe" of choice, it's cool. But on a first date? So I said, "I'm glad you dressed up for me," teasingly. He laughed, and told me how he gets them from his ad agency because they're free. He held the door to the bar open for me. I said I dressed up for him, that I changed out of jeans, tshirt and flip flops for the date.
We talked a lot about Brazil. He started talking geography, and drawing invisible maps on the bar as we talked about different places. I was impressed with his invisible maps, and said so. I put on my glasses to find the bathroom, and he said glasses are sexy and I looked good in them. I must have smiled big because he says, "Oh, you like that?" "Of course I do, I'm a girl!" I said.
He also said I looked good in my outfit.
At ten I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna get a parking ticket." I had only put 2 hours in the meter, at 7:30. He was like, "Oh, that's not good, let's go," and we walked to my car. He's at least 5'11". Check. We chatted by my car for a minute, then he hugged me a little longer than absolutely necessary and we said good bye. It was a nice hug. I remember it fondly as I write this.
Then like 20 minutes he texted me, "Drive safe!" Here's the rest:
I'm already at my bldg
But thanks ;)
Him: Have a good night.
You too. Had fun.
Him: Nice, thanks for honoring the bet. Bets are sacred.
Yes, I've learned that! Women don't bet much, I think.
Him: Well equal rights to everybody in America. Equal rights = equal responsibilities ;) A bet is a bet I am pen for new bets, If I loose (sic), I pay.
Yes, you're right. Oh, you'll pay. I'll find something good. ;)
Him: It is ur right feel free
Him: Shower lalari lo loooo!!
Him: Figaro figaroooo lalai lo looooo!!
Opera in the shower?
Him: Yes. My phone is getting wet lalariloloooo
lol
Not Queen or heavy metal?
Him: Some Judas Priest. Frewheel (sic) buuuurrnniinnnggg!
So, I dunno. If he calls/texts, I will go out with him again.
I walk into the restaurant and am not sure where he is, until I see this guy with a blue flame-type tattoo around his lower left arm. I remembered it from his pics. Badass, right? My mom's already in love with this one, hah.
He's cute! And he's got very carefully sculpted facial hair - very closely trimmed, thin sideburns (it looks good) and, well, a soul patch. Sounds awful, but on an artsy guy it's cool. He tells me about his job - he's the art director at an advertising company. I kept picturing episodes of "Mad Men," but he's working on commercials and Mad Men isn't truly there yet. ;)
So, grown-up career: check. Really digs it: check.
He's got a heavy Brazilian accent, so he can be hard to understand, especially in a noisy place like the restaurant we were at. Learned he's a huge soccer fan (big shock, not). And big into motorcycles, based on his photos and that his shirt said "Harley Davidson" on the pocket.
I was indecisive about the menu - I can be extremely indecisive. I know men hate this. But anway, he says, "You remind me of my ex-wife." "Great," I said.
We talked about religion, always a great topic on a first date (oy), but it was a cool conversation. He's got a lot of opinions and some of his views are pretty interesting (as opposed to lame, boring, or nonexistent). But he might be a little out-there. Or just interesting. Out-there might be okay if he's not an alcoholic and can hold a job.
We were talking about the band Queen. He said Freddie Mercury's parents were Indian, and I was certain they were like Afghani or something. He said, "You wanna bet on it?" And for some reason I said, "Yeah!" "Really?" "Yes. What's it for?" "This dinner," he said.
I lost.
He found this amusing. I'll be honest, I was annoyed. Probably childish. He went to the bathroom, and I texted my friend, "I just lost a bet and I think I have to pay for dinner!"
Okay, it was funny. When he came back I told him I texted her and we cracked up.
After much debate, asking the waitress for her opinion about whether he was really going to make me pay, blah blah blah, him enjoying it the whole time and me thinking, Really? You're really gonna make me pay?, we split it. Because he wanted to be a "gentleman." "I wouldn't go that far," I said. I think he was surprised a bit. I was just being honest. I felt like he could actually handle my honesty, which is pretty unusual. Check.
At the end I said, "Do I still remind you of your ex-wife?" "No," he said. "Good."
We left, and he said, "I'm gonna take you over there to get a drink," since I had to pay or because he wanted to act in good faith or hopefully because he just liked my company. Dude, he was wearing (nice) flip flops. Very casual but well-done look as a whole. A perfected look all in all. I have to say that since flip flops are my "shoe" of choice, it's cool. But on a first date? So I said, "I'm glad you dressed up for me," teasingly. He laughed, and told me how he gets them from his ad agency because they're free. He held the door to the bar open for me. I said I dressed up for him, that I changed out of jeans, tshirt and flip flops for the date.
We talked a lot about Brazil. He started talking geography, and drawing invisible maps on the bar as we talked about different places. I was impressed with his invisible maps, and said so. I put on my glasses to find the bathroom, and he said glasses are sexy and I looked good in them. I must have smiled big because he says, "Oh, you like that?" "Of course I do, I'm a girl!" I said.
He also said I looked good in my outfit.
At ten I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna get a parking ticket." I had only put 2 hours in the meter, at 7:30. He was like, "Oh, that's not good, let's go," and we walked to my car. He's at least 5'11". Check. We chatted by my car for a minute, then he hugged me a little longer than absolutely necessary and we said good bye. It was a nice hug. I remember it fondly as I write this.
Then like 20 minutes he texted me, "Drive safe!" Here's the rest:
I'm already at my bldg
But thanks ;)
Him: Have a good night.
You too. Had fun.
Him: Nice, thanks for honoring the bet. Bets are sacred.
Yes, I've learned that! Women don't bet much, I think.
Him: Well equal rights to everybody in America. Equal rights = equal responsibilities ;) A bet is a bet I am pen for new bets, If I loose (sic), I pay.
Yes, you're right. Oh, you'll pay. I'll find something good. ;)
Him: It is ur right feel free
Him: Shower lalari lo loooo!!
Him: Figaro figaroooo lalai lo looooo!!
Opera in the shower?
Him: Yes. My phone is getting wet lalariloloooo
lol
Not Queen or heavy metal?
Him: Some Judas Priest. Frewheel (sic) buuuurrnniinnnggg!
So, I dunno. If he calls/texts, I will go out with him again.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
#20 Tonight
I'm going out with 20 tonight. He's Brazilian. I liked him alright on the phone. We'll see. I think he lied about his age.
I'm not exactly overwhelmed with joy about this date. He wanted me to meet him at his place in Midtown and then drive with him to some restaurant, and I said no, let's meet in the Grove, which is more convenient for me and where he works. And not weird, like meeting a stranger and driving off with them. I think he wanted to go home and take a shower and stuff; I go straight from work. No need to make it such a big deal! He also wanted to meet at 8:30, I said 7:30.
Meh.
I'm not exactly overwhelmed with joy about this date. He wanted me to meet him at his place in Midtown and then drive with him to some restaurant, and I said no, let's meet in the Grove, which is more convenient for me and where he works. And not weird, like meeting a stranger and driving off with them. I think he wanted to go home and take a shower and stuff; I go straight from work. No need to make it such a big deal! He also wanted to meet at 8:30, I said 7:30.
Meh.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
What to do in this situation?
This guy on eharmony gave me his phone number and I wrote back that I would try to call him in the next couple of days. Last Thursday I called him, got voicemail, left a message. Haven't heard back. Am I supposed to let it go, or send a message on the site that I called? Sometimes I have friends not get my messages, but it's pretty unusual. I guess I just think that at this very early stage I'll give them one more chance, but after the first date I go back to playing hardball. Comments?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Told my Physical Therapist to hook me up!
I happened to look pretty good yesterday when I went to physical therapy, so I asked my physical therapist (also known as The Inappropriate Healthcare Provider) to find me a boyfriend. "Why are you asking me?" he said. "Because smart attractive guys know smart attractive guys," I said smugly. "What about me?" he said. Errr, what? I said something about having just covered that. Then I said, "I don't think [his fiancee] would appreciate that." There was some more chat, then he asked me if I've ever slept with a married guy, to which I replied, "Not as far as I know!" I told him that's really off-limits for me, which it is. If a guy's got a girlfriend, he's off limits in my book. Was that a last try? Probably.
Then he started actually thinking about hookin' me up. "No idiots," he said. "Yeah, they have to be really smart. I'm looking mid-thirties to perhaps even early forties, if they look young." "How old are you?" "Almost thirty. But I think I need an older guy, although not because I'm so mature," I said, to which he grinned. I also said minimum of a bachelor's degree because I've had several boyfriends really feel inferior about my having a law degree. And he knows I'm a smart-ass, so that helps - not gonna set me up with some lame guy with no sense of humor. He said, "Aren't you on antidepressants?" Keep in mind that he knows this stuff because when I went to him three years ago it was just us in this tiny room in the back of my (fancy) gym, and I probably told him too much. Oh well. Can't undo the past. "Yeah, but I'm on a half dose now." "That's one of the first few things I ask on a date," he said. "Really?" "Oh yeah. I want to know if you're going to go really crazy." Ack. "I'm actually pretty rational about stuff. I think that's one of my strengths. I don't really go nuts, " I said. "Until you really let it out," he said, kinda joking but I knew he was serious.
Oh well.
Of course, this is the guy that greeted me this way: I was sitting in a chair reading a magazine, and he walked by, miming that he was hugging me and kissing me and said, "Makeout greeting." Then after he put me on a ice pack with the electrodes on my back he had to leave, and he gave me an air kiss from the door, across the room by at least 20 feet in front of 5 people. This makes me laugh even as I write it. Can you imagine any health care provider doing that to you? Only in Miami.
Then he started actually thinking about hookin' me up. "No idiots," he said. "Yeah, they have to be really smart. I'm looking mid-thirties to perhaps even early forties, if they look young." "How old are you?" "Almost thirty. But I think I need an older guy, although not because I'm so mature," I said, to which he grinned. I also said minimum of a bachelor's degree because I've had several boyfriends really feel inferior about my having a law degree. And he knows I'm a smart-ass, so that helps - not gonna set me up with some lame guy with no sense of humor. He said, "Aren't you on antidepressants?" Keep in mind that he knows this stuff because when I went to him three years ago it was just us in this tiny room in the back of my (fancy) gym, and I probably told him too much. Oh well. Can't undo the past. "Yeah, but I'm on a half dose now." "That's one of the first few things I ask on a date," he said. "Really?" "Oh yeah. I want to know if you're going to go really crazy." Ack. "I'm actually pretty rational about stuff. I think that's one of my strengths. I don't really go nuts, " I said. "Until you really let it out," he said, kinda joking but I knew he was serious.
Oh well.
Of course, this is the guy that greeted me this way: I was sitting in a chair reading a magazine, and he walked by, miming that he was hugging me and kissing me and said, "Makeout greeting." Then after he put me on a ice pack with the electrodes on my back he had to leave, and he gave me an air kiss from the door, across the room by at least 20 feet in front of 5 people. This makes me laugh even as I write it. Can you imagine any health care provider doing that to you? Only in Miami.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I felt this deserved a new blog rather than just a comment...
...because apparently I need to provide some insight into the convoluted female mind.
A comment about Gorgeous Guy:
So you're not going to date the guy. Ok, that's fine. But if you're attracted to him, and if he wants to, then why not have sex with him. It has to better than the guy from the backseat of a car in the garage who couldn't keep it up, right?
You assume that if I slept with one guy then I'll sleep with all of them. Going off with some random guy I'll never see again is not the same as sleeping with someone in my social circle that blatantly doesn't want to date me (which kind hurts!). If it's a one-night thing and/or means nothing to the guy and/or me, I don't want to have to see him again - I don't want to get attached to a guy that's not good enough or not into me. Plus I don't really want to sleep with random people all the time (Exhibit A: "tuck me in guy" got nowhere). Sometimes it just happens, but I'm not looking for sex all the time. Really. Mostly I just want to find someone for real. If I wanted to just sleep with whomever, you know that more than one of those 19 dates (thus far) would have ended you-know-where. I know I coulda bagged the alcoholic pilot, for example. Occassionally I'm in the mood to do something stupid. Mostly not. Like when I travel for business I could hang out in the hotel bar like a floozy and pick up men, but I don't (even though there are some cute single guys in my hotel here in DC). Instead I order overpriced room service for dinner and ... write on my blog.
A comment about Gorgeous Guy:
So you're not going to date the guy. Ok, that's fine. But if you're attracted to him, and if he wants to, then why not have sex with him. It has to better than the guy from the backseat of a car in the garage who couldn't keep it up, right?
You assume that if I slept with one guy then I'll sleep with all of them. Going off with some random guy I'll never see again is not the same as sleeping with someone in my social circle that blatantly doesn't want to date me (which kind hurts!). If it's a one-night thing and/or means nothing to the guy and/or me, I don't want to have to see him again - I don't want to get attached to a guy that's not good enough or not into me. Plus I don't really want to sleep with random people all the time (Exhibit A: "tuck me in guy" got nowhere). Sometimes it just happens, but I'm not looking for sex all the time. Really. Mostly I just want to find someone for real. If I wanted to just sleep with whomever, you know that more than one of those 19 dates (thus far) would have ended you-know-where. I know I coulda bagged the alcoholic pilot, for example. Occassionally I'm in the mood to do something stupid. Mostly not. Like when I travel for business I could hang out in the hotel bar like a floozy and pick up men, but I don't (even though there are some cute single guys in my hotel here in DC). Instead I order overpriced room service for dinner and ... write on my blog.
Geez, I'm blind
Had dinner with my cousin last night while I'm in DC for work. He said that as soon as he met my Ex (the big ex, the relationship I'm still scarred from), he knew he was a pot head. What? I was incredulous. "Yeah, he had all the mannerisms. And he was dumb."
Wow! I said, "This is why everyone, including you, must absolutely tell me when you see this stuff! I won't get mad! I can't trust my judgment!!
I'm still, after almost 2 years, in shock or disbelief or something about the inappropriate behavior I put up with. I carry it with me and question my judgment at every turn. But I think my judgment is okay if I really listen to myself - like with Gorgeous Guy. I can convince myself of a lot of stuff, but really, let's be honest here: he's not into me or he's a pot head or he drinks six beers on a first date or he's gay, or whatever!
Wow! I said, "This is why everyone, including you, must absolutely tell me when you see this stuff! I won't get mad! I can't trust my judgment!!
I'm still, after almost 2 years, in shock or disbelief or something about the inappropriate behavior I put up with. I carry it with me and question my judgment at every turn. But I think my judgment is okay if I really listen to myself - like with Gorgeous Guy. I can convince myself of a lot of stuff, but really, let's be honest here: he's not into me or he's a pot head or he drinks six beers on a first date or he's gay, or whatever!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Why I don't ask Gorgeous Guy out
I think he's just not that into me.
I discussed this actually with some guys last night, who gave the following feedback: after seeing me four or five times, he knows if he's really interested in dating me. That night he probably just wanted me to stay around so he could get laid. The comment that I'm into scifi but he's not combined with his basically turning me down when I said we should go out last December (his response? "But you're a lawyer) - there will always be a reason why I'm not what he really wants.
I really think he just wanted to sleep with me that night. He could email me and ask me out any time. He knows I'm interested. He's a savvy guy and he's at least 35 if he's a day, so he knows what's what. I've put myself out there enough. All the more reason why it's good that I just left on Thursday instead of hanging around.
I discussed this actually with some guys last night, who gave the following feedback: after seeing me four or five times, he knows if he's really interested in dating me. That night he probably just wanted me to stay around so he could get laid. The comment that I'm into scifi but he's not combined with his basically turning me down when I said we should go out last December (his response? "But you're a lawyer) - there will always be a reason why I'm not what he really wants.
I really think he just wanted to sleep with me that night. He could email me and ask me out any time. He knows I'm interested. He's a savvy guy and he's at least 35 if he's a day, so he knows what's what. I've put myself out there enough. All the more reason why it's good that I just left on Thursday instead of hanging around.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Beddy-bye time
Thursday night I also went to a happy hour fundraiser for domestic violence and human trafficking - my friend donated to them and had some extra tickets. She wanted me to come so I could network. I am a terrible networker. Mostly because I don't like talking to strangers!!
Anyway I saw this guy I went on a date with like 3 years ago and I remembered the full story.
I had been working at a title company doing real estate closings and he was a client. Then I left the job and he got my cell phone number so he could ask me out! We had never met, but I said yes. I was flattered that he liked me enough on the phone to ask me out based solely on that.
I met him at his condo in Brickell - I don't know why I said yes to that, but I did. He was pretty good looking, which was awesome! Then we went to a bar and hung out for a while. We went back to his condo to have a drink - I already knew that he wasn't attracted to me, I think, but I went anyway. The night was wrapping up. He said he was going to go to bed - I was kind of insulted - he couldn't even walk me downstairs to my car? Then he asks me to tuck him in to bed. I demurred. He asked again. I demurred again. He like begged. Seriously. I'm not making this up!
I went home. I did not tuck him in. Geez!
Anyway I saw this guy I went on a date with like 3 years ago and I remembered the full story.
I had been working at a title company doing real estate closings and he was a client. Then I left the job and he got my cell phone number so he could ask me out! We had never met, but I said yes. I was flattered that he liked me enough on the phone to ask me out based solely on that.
I met him at his condo in Brickell - I don't know why I said yes to that, but I did. He was pretty good looking, which was awesome! Then we went to a bar and hung out for a while. We went back to his condo to have a drink - I already knew that he wasn't attracted to me, I think, but I went anyway. The night was wrapping up. He said he was going to go to bed - I was kind of insulted - he couldn't even walk me downstairs to my car? Then he asks me to tuck him in to bed. I demurred. He asked again. I demurred again. He like begged. Seriously. I'm not making this up!
I went home. I did not tuck him in. Geez!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Gorgeous Guy again
I was out last night at the new Prime 112 Italian (never been before - I gorged myself on cheesy garlic bread and eggplant parmesan - yum!!).
Then my friend says that Gorgeous Guy is here, and she goes over to say hello - he peers around the bar area to see me and I wave, then go over. When I come over he lights up, I swear. He asked us how the dinner group was going and I said I was hosting again on June 29th. He said he's supposed to be in Rome. I said a I love Rome, it was my first European city and I love it! My friend leaves because she knows I'm a dork about thsi guy. He asks me what I've been up to, wanted to know if I was staying at Prime for a while, asked me if I had seen the new Star Trek movie. I said I hadn't but I really need to see it, and Wolverine and Terminator. He says, "So you're a sci fi person?" "Um, I guess, yeah." "I'm not," he said. Hmmm. I don't say stuff like that unless I'm interested in dating a person, but that's just me. So then I told him about this business advertising thing he might be interested in, said I had a card, and he wanted it, so I go to get it from my purse and he follows me over (he could have just waited). Then my friends were leaving and we were still talking, and he's like "Your friends are leaving," and I was going to go but we kept talking and then he's like "Your friends are leaving," so then I decided I should acually go. He said, "I have your email address to, so I can reach you about this," and I said goodbye.
Then I got in my car and screamed and shrieked.
(Okay, yes, I'm a huge sci fi movies and tv dork, and I read a lot of True Blood-type book series.)
Then my friend says that Gorgeous Guy is here, and she goes over to say hello - he peers around the bar area to see me and I wave, then go over. When I come over he lights up, I swear. He asked us how the dinner group was going and I said I was hosting again on June 29th. He said he's supposed to be in Rome. I said a I love Rome, it was my first European city and I love it! My friend leaves because she knows I'm a dork about thsi guy. He asks me what I've been up to, wanted to know if I was staying at Prime for a while, asked me if I had seen the new Star Trek movie. I said I hadn't but I really need to see it, and Wolverine and Terminator. He says, "So you're a sci fi person?" "Um, I guess, yeah." "I'm not," he said. Hmmm. I don't say stuff like that unless I'm interested in dating a person, but that's just me. So then I told him about this business advertising thing he might be interested in, said I had a card, and he wanted it, so I go to get it from my purse and he follows me over (he could have just waited). Then my friends were leaving and we were still talking, and he's like "Your friends are leaving," and I was going to go but we kept talking and then he's like "Your friends are leaving," so then I decided I should acually go. He said, "I have your email address to, so I can reach you about this," and I said goodbye.
Then I got in my car and screamed and shrieked.
(Okay, yes, I'm a huge sci fi movies and tv dork, and I read a lot of True Blood-type book series.)
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