Attack of the Exes

Well, one ex and that guy I call "C".

A married couple I have been friends with since my early days in Miami are moving to New York so they can raise a family. That's what a lot of people do - Miami's not a great place to raise kids because of the cost of living and the blatant concern for sex appeal and expensive watches and cars. My friend's 7 y/o daughter has this neighbor friend who is, IMHO, a gold-digger in training.

I started dating my ex in March 2006. We moved in together in February 2007. Within a day or two he became extremely mean. I think he already was, but it got really obvious after I was in his space. It was very difficult. There were many times I should have left. Like when he was verbally abusive. Or when he locked me out emotionally. Or when he got really high (marijuana) three days in a row, including on our anniversary and was late for our celebratory dinner. And I hate pot, btw. I moved into my own place and we broke up on Otober 1, 2007.

He called me sometimes after we broke up, sometimes high, and it was generally hard for me because he is fun to talk to but I have to totally cut someone out to move on. The last time we talked was on the Fourth of July, when I told him that after we talk I am always sad for a week. He said that he would leave it up to me to call in the future. He was really surprised, I think. He also said that the relationship issues were totally his fault, but he said it like it was no big deal, not really apologetically. Did I mention that he hijacked our couples therapist, whom I found? I guess she was helping him. Sort of.

So the married couple have been doing some pre-departure gatherings to see their friends before they leave. I was invited to their Halloween party but didn't go. Lo and behold, I see the ex in photos of their party on facebook. He moved to their neighborhood, and they told me they had run into him, so I wasn't shocked. But seeing pics of him still upsets me a lot, unfortunately. It is what it is.

I called him last night to "develop a custody agreement" for the couple's big gathering on Friday and Saturday night of next weekend. He was surprised that I was invited. I was like, "Yeah, I was invited several weeks ago." I mean, they were my friends first! Geez! I said it would be awkward if we were both there, and he agreed. He said it's fine, "but if I find out it's only one night, I'm gonna be mad," sort of jokingly. That hurt - I am not mean like that. Double geez! Overall I could tell that he was a bit angry with me. What? What did I do?

Well, it's the same thing as with C.

I set a boundary (I need a break, don't come to my party; or Talking to you makes me sad for a week, I'll call you if/when I want to) and then they get passive agressive with me. Hence C rubbing the new girl in my face. Hence the ex being unfriendly and testy with me.

Sigh.