Date with #12

I had a lot of fun with #12. I met him at a nice Thai restaurant and had yummy red curry with chicken (I love it!). We had a good time. I figured that would be it, but instead he said he'd been looking for something to do (live music) but didn't find anything, and would I like to go to Little Hoolie's, a bar nearby. I was not dying to go to a bar, but I said yes. He's cute, and I didn't have to get up early. We got there and since it's in the Falls neighborhood as opposed to sobe, guys were totally checking my hotness out. ;) And I was with this really cute guy. It was awesome! We played pool and at one point danced to the 80s music. I don't dance. But he persuaded me -he spun me around and I was laughing like a kid. He kept putting his hand on my back and doing other little touches that guys do when they like you. It made me feel really good to have a cute guy like that, whose company I was enjoying, do that!

I've been single for a while. No one puts their arm around me, runs their hand over my back for 5 seconds, hugs me, or touches me. I mean, sure, I might hug a friend when I see them. But I don't really get the gentle touch that humans need, like, ever. It gets lonely. It's kind of depressing. So yes, I went home with him. We watched "Elf," which neither of us had seen. I sat on the sofa and he laid down with his head against me. It was so nice to just touch someone. And watch a pretty funny movie. He has a really sexy laugh. And after the movie we ended up ... doing the deed. Safely, yes, we used protection. Everything was responsible. And despite the fact that this is not the sort of thing I choose or desire to regularly engage in, I had a really good time. He's very sweet, not pushy at all, it was my decision. He said I was sexy, among other things.

I made an informal risk assessment during the movie. Will this guy hurt me, reject me, use me? I thought not. He told me he had gotten out of a 6-year relationship a year ago and it had been really hard. I could tell that he really kind of just wanted the cuddling thing, too, like me. He was genuinely not trying to lure me home to get some meaningless sex. I'm old enough to know what's what in that department.

#12 is 29, and he's clearly not ready for what I want in life. He's not ready to get married and have kids and have a regular job where he can be around for a family (he does serious fancy lighting for corporate events and stuff). He still likes to party sometimes, and stay up really late, and as he was trying to put the right music on in his room, I was looking for the inevitable marijuana pipe that I was sure he had, and I saw it. Pot use (or any drug) at any time, no matter how casual, is one of my definite deal-breakers. So I already knew that although he's interesting and sweet, fun, and rather hot, that it would never work.

Afterwards he expressly asked to cuddle (wow!) and we just talked. It was pretty awesome. He said he definitely wanted to hang out again. Then as I was leaving he kissed me, and stood at his door to watch me go until I actually drove off.

Is he the one? No. Does he offer some things that I really deserve? Yes. Would I like him to call again? Definitely. If he doesn't, will I cry in my milk? No, although I'll be disappointed. Am I cavalier about this? A resounding no. I totally feel a little slutty. But geez, as a good friend says, if no one touches us for a really long time, it's unhealthy. Babies that don't get touched can die! I deserve to have someone hold me and rub my back and just be sweet. Even just once.

When #9 comes back from France, maybe now I'll have my libido in check and it will make it easier for me to just get to know him slowly. Because on that date, sitting there thinking about kissing him was just hugely distracting. And he is major potential serious material.