18 - a little rescheduling

I try hard not to play "hard to get," but when 18 didn't call about our Saturday brunch date by Friday night, I decided to sleep in and let it go. He texted me at like 11:30, but I ignored it. He did offer to meet very close to me, instead of all the way in Brickell, which is good. But I mean, we were supposed to meet at 12:30 or 1 and you're texting me at 11:30 when we haven't even set a place? Lazy. And I don't accept poor planning very well. So anyway, then he called me at 1:45 and I let it go to vm. He said, "So I guess we're not on for today? Let me know." I called him back and we're going to meet at 5 at Deli Lane in South Miami - tres convenient for moi.
I'm not feeling super hopeful, but we'll see!

17 - nixed

It's too bad, because I like him. But I always like booze hounds and druggie types. Sigh. Given that he talked a lot about beer when we were on the phone, I was on high alert for his drinking behavior. We had a really great date, I had a lot of fun. We ate pan-asian cuisine on Lincoln Road and then went to Van Dyke's upstairs lounge and saw this really great, like, latin jazz band. They were really good, and I even kinda dance in place.
Problem? Yes. He had 6 beers between 8 and 1. Yes, it was a good enough date that I let it go that late. But 6 beers? Excessive. Also it's never a good sign when I'm counting your drinks.

Tentative date with 17 tonight

Because he can get called to fly at almost any time, our date is tentative. He was extremely apologetic about it - said they are low-staffed because of the economy, and that he's kinda lucky to have a job at all right now, that he knows a lot of pilots out of work right now (he works for a charter company). But I am excited! He's so cute on the phone!

I talked to 18

He is in fact foreign - Nicaraguan. But truly excellent command of the English language. Also his voice is extremely sexy. Wowzer. We'll see how he is at brunch on Saturday in Brickell!

Is 18 strange?

We haven't spoken yet, but he's asked me to brunch this weekend. Thing is, his questions to me in the final round were:

1. you picture yourself deeply in love in the future? Or u think of marriage as convenient thing tovdo with a 'nice' guy

I only want to do it once! "Nice" doesn't cut it - I need a partner I respect and enjoy sharing my life with.

2. once in a loving relationship are you very physical?

Hell yeah. That's one of the best parts - lots of sex, no guilt!

3. 3 things about u that have driven men crazy (in the good way)

1) Certain things related to your second question, but I'm not going into it in more detail! ;) 2) My witty repartee 3) I'm a good cook Then his first message to me: well well! I like ur style, maybe.. Maybe your only one is around the corner ! Let's meet sunday of sat for brunch to discern over this (Left his name and number) Thoughts?

Monday night

I finally attended my dinner group again on Monday. Had great fun, lots of inappropriate jokes and heart laughter. When I came in to the restaurant the gorgeous guy that wanted to date my friend was there. He said hello but went back to his convo. Sigh. He's so cute. I sat with some super fun people and we laughed our asses off. One guy said he has wild parties at his house in the Grove, and I was like, "Invite me!" and gave him my card. He's already friended me on facebook. He seems really nice and obviously has a good sense of humor.

Then the gorgeous guy walked over to my table just to say goodbye to me - what? I don't get it. Well, I do. He's not that in to me but he loves that I'm in to him. So he's feeding on it. Oy. He was also with this really, really good looking guy who's like 6'4", who has looked at me several times during several dinners. Inquiries have yet to determine who he is. I have contemplated asking gorgeous guy in an email, since it would stick it to him and answer my question.

I know, my life is so rough.

Another guy asked me this

I found this a surprisingly profound question for eharmony, and also a little professor-like but I think that's because English isn't his first language. Anyway:

About qualities my partner must have I have to mention the following. My work is in the import and export industry. I consistently have to be aware of current day affairs about the economy, plus I like having a partner that is knowledgeable, intelligent and would be able to debate me in any given situation.

I’m going to ask you something. Knowing the current foreclosure crisis in Miami, can you tell me a little about how it started, and if you had the power to make decisions to solve the problem, what will they be? Feel free to ask anything you wish back?

Wow, right?

PS I think I gave a wonderful answer. I was always a decent student. :p

Convo last night with 17

17 is the pilot who answered the questions in this post. Gosh, he sounds cute! He lives all the way up in Deerfield Beach, though, which is practically in Boca. Also not a Spanish speaker. Oh well. We had a fun conversation. He is a middle child. Grew up in Michigan.

You know, he may drink a lot. He said right now he's only flying about 35 hours a month because of the economy - he flies for a private charter company. He said he makes enough to get by for now while the economy is bad, although he made a lot more before. Has always wanted to be a pilot, so I don't think he'll change careers. Anyway, it sounds like each time he goes to a town over night, he heads to a bar he knows to hang out.

If I were living that kind of life, I would probably get lonely staying in my hotel room alone every night. So maybe that's not so crazy? Especially since he's on call and doesn't generally know more than a day or two in advance about his scheduled flights, and he can end up staying in a town for days based on what the client wants. I dunno. Just verbalizing it so I'm not keeping to myself, which usually leads to trouble!

Another requirement

Another requirement: your chin and neck need to be completely separate from each other.

Miami Men and My Feet

I've confirmed this is true: guys from Miami want you to keep your feet in good shape. That means manicured and smooth. The check out your feet to see if you take care of yourself.
A few months ago I stopped painting my toenails regularly. I don't know why, I just stopped. And I look down at them, thinking I should paint them, but I don't. I guess I feel constrained by this "requirement" so I can snag some dumbass. I mean, seriously. It's so lame.
Or maybe since I have taken up regular waxing, I've traded personal care commitments and can only handle one or the other? I dunno. Also, my feet look dry and scaly no matter what I do, unless I sleep in socks every night with Kerasal on my feet. That gets kinda hot here in the warmer months (all ten of them), and I'd actually have to turn my AC a notch cooler to do that. Plus remember, no sleeping right after applying nail polish or the sheets and/or socks will do weird things to the set-but-not- totally-dry polish.

Answers from another guy

1. If your life went as you would hope in the next 5-10 years, what would it be like then?

Well, first I must admit I am not a person who plans much ahead (what? a man that doesn't plan ahead? shocking!), but that's not to say I never think about the future. I would like to be married 5-10 years from now, but it's much more important to me that by then I would have found someone special to share my life with. I definitely do want kids, and hopefully before I'm too old (he's 28). Although I would like to live in the country at some point later in life, 5-10 years from now I'd still be working so somewhere in the suburbs near a city would make the most sense. I would like to try teaching at some point in my life, but I think that is more likely to happen when I am a bit older, so hopefully my career in software development will continue for awhile.


2. Tell me 5 random things about yourself!

Cool question. 1) I was born and grew up in Chocolate Town USA (Hershey, PA - a nice Mid-Atlantic boy for me!) 2) I wear a size 13 shoe (ahem - sounds good to me!) 3) I used to hang out with Amish people 4) My grandfather grew up on a watermelon farm and was named after a donkey (interesting!) 5) My beard turns red when it grows longer


3. What are deal-breakers for you?

Racism. Someone who doesn't like dogs. Someone who places an extremely high value on material possessions.

Dateless weekend

It looks like I am actually going to spend an entire weekend without a date. That will make it a full week, since last Sunday. This bothers me, since I currently have 5 guys in the tube (I like this phrase; it sounds like they're going to be shot out of a cannon and placed in front of me). 5 guys that will all want to talk next week, when I will be busier than this week. Sheesh.

Answers from one guy

1. If your life went as you would hope in the next 5-10 years, what would it be like then? Would you be married? Children? Living in the city? Country? Would you be in a settled career or changing to something you always wanted to do?

Wow, tough questions, I can tell you're trained as an attorney, lol. I would like to be married somewhere in that time frame (good answer). Living in the country would be great, but I must be within driving distance of a major city(he's a pilot). As far as my career goes, I'm doing what I love right now. There's definitely opportunities to advance my career in the future, but I'm not switching fields. I'm actually pretty lucky to have a job right now my field with this economy. As far as kids go, If I find the right person and build a super relationship, then I think it may happen when the time is right.(that's kinda where I am)


2. Tell me 5 random things about yourself!

1. I'm an awesome bowler 2. I'm addicted to CNBC 3. My only addiction is good coffee 4. I sometimes shop at Old Navy, cheap (oh! a match made in heaven! i love old navy!) 5. I sometimes watch old episodes of Lost in Space online

3. What are deal-breakers for you?

Over the top offensive behavior around my friends and family, (had a bad experience there), and really bad hygiene. (i think i'm safe on these fronts - it's funny what men consider deal breakers!)

My new 2nd-round questions

I got sick of the questions they offer in the second round, so I went in the eharmony chat room and pulled these three out, which I like better:

1. Tell me 5 random things about yourself!
2. What are deal-breakers for you?
3. If your life went as you would hope in the next 5-10 years, what would it be like then? Would you be married? Children? Living in the city/suburbs/country? Would you be in a settled career or changing to something you always wanted to do?

The three I've sent this to - two of them have given answers that I really liked. The other one was vague, which as I said in the previous post, does not please me!

Some more on the way

I'm talking with a couple more guys on eharmony. I've decided that if they do anything "annoying, " even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, I'm probably going to find them annoying. Like this guy I was talking to, he seems nice, but it annoyed me that he didn't pay for the site and was only using it for the free trial weekend. Why does this annoy me? I don't know. Before we've reached email stage he's answering my questions but also giving me his email address. I don't want to communicate with him that way. Why? I don't know. I mean, I'd talk to him on the phone, give him my one and only phone number (at least with caller ID, he'd have it), but not want him to have my email address? Makes no sense. I guess it's also because I felt like his answers to my questions were really vague. I don't like vague about anything, ever, which can be quite a character defect, but when it comes to relationship communication, it's not okay!! So maybe that's really why I find him annoying.

I'm glad we worked this out.

14 and 16 - sigh

I met 14 for lunch on Vday - he's the web guy from Alabama. He's very nice, but I am not attracted to him. As usual. But it doesn't help when he says things like, "I'm not good at math." I want someone that is legitimately good at a lot of stuff so I can trust them to take care of things when I can't. If calculating the tip is difficult for you, we're not gonna work. Sorry. I felt bad though because he said he was nervous. I was soooo not nervous. I think I'm getting desensitized to this whole thing. Although my friend assures me that eventually I'll go out with a guy where I'm nervous and not eating because of it.

I met 16 for lunch today - he's the Brazilian lawyer. See the first few sentences of paragraph above. Sheesh. This one didn't appear to be nervous, but he talks too much and he talks a little loud. The whole time I'm like, I hope people don't think we're together because this is a little embarassing. On the other hand, we had some very intellectual conversation about traveling in Europe, and about Shakespeare. He's a smart lawyer even though he didn't go to a law school I consider particularly good (no, I'm not saying which one). When I left I thought, at least he was smart! Even if he is a bit of a spit-talker. Double sigh.

I've decided that I need to be more selective about who I choose talk to on eharmony. I mean, I need to be more restrictive based on the photos - usually I just know that I'm not going to be attracted, and I should just go with that gut feeling. Otherwise I'm gonna get burned out, and then what will I write about on this blog?!!?

Post-VDay rundown

Valentine's Day has always sucked for me. Sometimes due to high expectations not being met, and sometimes just because:

- my college boyfriend and I had just gotten back together; he harrumphed about doing anything for Valentine's Day and brought me a card and one yellow rose
- I was dating this guy who spent like an hour changing outfits and checking himself out in the mirror (yes, he was latin) before taking me out on a lame dinner
- the one Valentine's Day I had with my ex was just not special at all, and my entree at the restaurant was bad

Yesterday was a pretty nice one. I had no expectations. I was just relaxed. I went on a date (see next post) and then went to my friend's house in the evening where I ate some pizza, chatted for a long time, and played Wii games with her daughter. Now I kinda want a Wii. Some of those sports games can really get you moving!

Video games

Anyone that admits in their eharmony profile to playing video games is automatically excluded. I think it tends to be an addictive behavior, where they sit for hours and hours playing that crap. This applies to computer gamers, too. I can't stand it - reminds me too much of the ex. And generally I don't see how it can be very healthy, especially since most of us sit in front of computers all day at work - then you're gonna sit and play video games for 5 hours?

So:
Don't dumb down my gene pool
Don't play video games

A new requirement

After dating two Chinese guys that aren't that smart and seeing C again on Sunday, I've come up with a new and very important requirement for my future husband.

He must not dumb down my gene pool.

You see, as I go out on these dates I find that I am continually meeting men who just aren't smart enough. And while that might be okay as a partner, I want my potential offspring to be smarter than that.

So if you can't bring it, you're not gonna dumb down my gene pool.

I'm just saying.

14 is rechristened

I decided to rechristen someone else as 14. 14, I've decided, can wait. He probably is getting out of a marriage or something. Also, it's dishonest to say I've gone out with 15 men when I've really only gone out with 13 (there was another back there that I didn't go out with - 6).

So, 14 is from Alabama and writes a lot of news stories for a local tv station's website. He seems like a really good guy. Maybe too cheesy for me. Also last night when I told him some of the stuff I'm doing for work he said that he's like intimidated or something. Sigh. I don't want you to be intimidated - doesn't that mean he's kinda a schlub that doesn't do as much or something? Not that I'm being judgmental!!

We're meeting Saturday for coffee at the Starbucks on Miracle Mile in the Gables.

I've also got to call 16, a lawyer who grew up in Brazil but I think is American - his English in writing is perfect and he says he's "white, non-hispanic." I just try not to go out with too many guys that are foreign-born; their expectations of women are just too alien for American women a lot of the time, IMHO.

Adventures with C: Part 3

Yesterday my friend had a lovely gathering at her condo on the beach. I had a great time! Lots of running our mouths and chilling out, hanging around on her wonderful balcony with a stunning view of Biscayne Bay. Playing with her adorable doggie and a friend's baby. Great!

C and his roomie showed up. Everything was fine, it was fun to catch up with them. But as we were leaving together, I get a text message. C says, "Take me home :)"

I burst out laughing. I laughed a lot! His roomie totally knew what happened, too, but I tried to not make a bigger deal out of it than my hysterical laughter already made it. I mean, after all the angst, the sturm und drang, I get "Take me home :)" ? For realz?

For realz. :)

I drove home and talked to a match from eharmony!

15 - nixed

He's very nice, but I'm not attracted to him. In addition, he is the second Chinese guy I've dated who is not as smart as I am. What's up with that? First, he says "self-conscientious" instead of "self-conscious," which drives me crazy. Cuz he says it a lot. And second, when I talked to him the first time he said that he's an engineer and "I work for the Turnpike." Yeah, and I work for I-95. He works for a road. Errr, can't he say the Turnpike Authority? Maybe he's self-conscientious about it.

Date with 15 tonight

I'm going to meet him at Balan's on Lincoln Road tonight at 7. He lives in Davie, so we'll meet in the middle. I'm still kinda more comfortable wandering around South Beach than the Gables or Grove anyway.
We'll see!

15, 16-17

15 is this Chinese guy (another one) that didn't respond to my messages on eharmony for a while, so I closed the match. But he sent a final message saying, "I thought we had something. I would really like you to reconsider," so I opened the match again. Apparently he hadn't intended to renew his subscription to eharmony and it ran out and he thought I would call him. But since I had to postpone calling him for a few weeks, I emailed him several times through the site, but he didn't respond.
Anyway, I reopened it. I guess I'll call him soon.
16 - Actually part Cherokee but from Alabama, has a great sense of humor and enjoys playing with words (like me)
17- Brazilian but has lived here a long time, lawyer
16-17 seem like nice guys, but I was overwhelmed by the veritable soliloquies they both emailed me in their first messages. We're talking like a page or two in a word document. A LOT. And then I had to respond? Oy. I'm still trying to take it easy, and I didn't have the energy to put in a ton of time to really craft some huge response. I guess also at this point I just feel like, we need to meet. After we exchange Must Haves/Can't Stands and I can tell that they will tolerate my tv junkie-ness and foul mouth, really, we might as well just exchange numbers and talk! There's no need for 10 emails about each other when it likely won't lead to much. Maybe that sounds negative, but honestly, I don't want to invest a ton of time on each person when I will probably see them once. If I want to know more, I can ask after I decide that he's smoking hot and the future father of my babies. Yeah.

14

14 is the IT guy. On Saturday I remembered that his facebook relationship status says "it's complicated," so I texted him and asked what that meant. He wrote back LOL, then another message saying "...story for an afternoon with coffee in the table" (I assume he meant coffee on the table, but hey). I wrote back "bueno," which is like "ok." But he never said anything more or asked me to get coffee. I have this nagging feeling that I should not initiate it. I don't know if it's because that's how you're supposed to play "the game," which I don't want to play, or if it's because I sense that he needs to do this on his own timing. I guess since I said "I'm not promising anything," the first time he asked me to coffee I may have given him the idea that I'm not into it. I dunno.

I thought I should add that he does in fact speak excellent English, but Spanish is his first language.

Funny Miami Fact: Wild Parrots

Parrot Jungle used to be located in Pinecrest, part of Miami-Dade County.

During Hurricane Andrew in 1992, the park was damaged. Now there are flocks of wild parrots around Miami! I wasn't particularly aware of them until I moved a couple of miles away from my old apartment in Pinecrest. There is a flock that lives in my neighborhood, Kings Creek.

The parrots are really, really loud. Lots of squawking. Not really a beautiful sound. It used to bother me but now I don't notice the squawking, even though it travels around as they move from tree to building to tree. They travel in bunches, but then you'll see pairs off alone as well - it's sweet. Once there was a pair by at my window - one was hanging upside down on the screen, looking in at my blinds. It was noisily shuffling around on the screen. The other appeared to be keeping watch! As soon as I peeked at them, though, they looked startled and took off.

My parents were just here; my mom said it reminded her of the movie "The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill." We ran outside my apartment to try to see them but they kept moving! The Miami parrots don't have a full red head like that movie's parrots; ours either have red on the very tops of their heads or no red at all. Here are some pictures I found of Miami parrots - I have trouble taking decent photos myself!

Conversations with My Friend/Match

I've had some enlightening conversations with one of the guys I'm friends with and was also matched with on eharmony. Some male insights:

- No picture? Bad advertising! He says that your profile is all about marketing and you've got to do it well or you won't, you know, sell your product. I now close all matches that don't have a photo. I used to wait, but I go back a month later and they still haven't uploaded one. He says they must be really unattractive, or just plain dumb, so why bother? I agree.

- The reason given for why someone closes a match on eharmony is irrelevant. Novel idea to me! He says really, it doesn't matter what the reason is anyway; it just isn't a match. Next! And here I've given careful consideration to the reason I give. So not necessary! And time consuming!

- "Match.com is like a bar." This is totally true. I see eharmony as more like an acquaintance matching you with someone they are acquainted with as well. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, but at least someone mutual thought you're both not total assholes.